LiFe is BeAUtiFuL

Inspiration

2012-01-26T18:23:00.000+09:00

People looking for inspiration and motivation to make a better self.
I have to tell I am lucky that I am inspired and motivated by people around me.
The Japanese, ,the students in my class, the baseball players, the cute and pretty little girls in my dormitory,
the seniors and of course, my lectures.

My Thursday is unlike other days, because I finish my class at 12pm(for other weekdays, classes usually ends at 4 or 6pm). I was thinking of skipping the class today,to have my free time longer. But I didnt, and I am grateful for that,because I didnt miss out what he told us today.

At the end of the class, he said, as humans, we are born to think. Because we are capable of thinking which make us different from other animals. To prove that Human cant stop thinking, he did an experiment on us. He ask us to make our mind blank for 30 seconds.Class went into silence for 30seconds. and he said:'' our brain cant stop working.Your brain responded to the sound I made by moving just a little.You wondered what others were thinking during the silence. You heard the voice of teaching in the next classroom.''
and then he added one evidence,that prove that human cant stop from thinking. He in Buddhism, to reach Zen(禅),a level of letting the words,ideas, images,and thoughts pass by without getting involved in them,a monk need to go through the seated meditation(Zazen/座禅), which means, one cannot get all their thoughts easily without going through the Zazen, which usually takes months for that.

I was stunned and couldnt agree more.

My lecturer said, young people nowadays tend to stop thinking,resulted from the schedule packed with thing-to-do. They concern and worry about tasks, job, assignment, money..so busy that young people dont think and concern about the community,the world, the happenings and the future. When people stop thinking and unconcern about things around us, it is a thing to be very much worried. He gave another example: driving a car by just focusing the car in front, overlooking or neglected cars from sides,behind and blind spot, is very very dangerous.
That people nowadays are busy,is a fact, but at least, take a little time out of your time, to think look farther, to look wider, to think deeper will make changes.

Again,I couldnt agree more.

History of Interaction among Asia(アジア交流史） was a very boring class,not only to me, also the other classmates. for half year, students sleeping and doing other assignments in his class. Some even chatted loudly, ignoring his existent. But sometimes, I like his class.=)

So young people, broaden your view, get out of the box. For your own good, also the people,the future. who knows, you might contribute to the next generations??

异乡过节

2012-01-25T20:27:00.000+09:00

新年咯

今年的第一次的雪，迎接年初一

今年的除夕夜和大年初一，一个人，
离开家乡，再是难受。虽然不是第一次了，
但是想到我节下来的四年都得这样过，更难受。
今年没有根家人上网祝贺，但是有面子书，至少让我看到爸爸分红包的脸，
哈哈

我家最帅，最可爱的男人

团员饭，桌位少了一个人，妈妈的泪流在我心中。
不想想像妈妈伤心的脸
没有大姐在身边吵吵闹闹，问她穿得好不好看，
也没有弟弟们越玩牌赌博的声音，
只有课业上的压力陪伴。
我想年尾该回家一趟了。

但是也没有那么伤心啦，
今年的新年，反而变的更有意义。
身边多了一个可爱的学妹，陪我度过大年初一。
我们交换了红包。=）

里面是心型的两张纸币，我问她为什么是RM11,而不是RM10，她说包还红包得放多一点。哈哈

更让我感动的是我的好友，送了一包邮包来，里面装的都是我最爱吃的东西，
有山楂饼啦，柠檬饼啦，耳朵饼啦，花生饼还有椰子饼。OMG,都是我的最爱。
每想到她还记得。感动，当然也很开心。
新年也变的没那么可怜了。

刚到的样子=）

猜猜红包里装的是什么=）

耳朵饼（我爱爱爱！！）

柠檬饼和山楂饼！

大家新年快乐！！

Thank you for the Memories.

2012-01-09T21:44:00.000+09:00

Its 2012, another new year, and it is totally a new one for me.

Two days ago, I asked, what is love. What it feels. What it means, what is it.
you know what love is, when you start to care.
You know what love is, when you are giving without asking asking back.
Love, is a word that confuse mankind, Nobody has an answer for love,
as it's definition differs and depend on who,what,when, where and why.
But today,still,I am not sure know what love is. I lost him, but I got the answer I have been looking for.

May be we know what love is, when we lost it.

chose to be honest to ourselves,revealed all the problems and truth that hidden by the distance between us.
I know there is no way back anymore, because this time,
I chose to gave up. I wan to be honest to myself.
I chose not to give another chance,because I believe with what I think.
3 years is definitely a long one, I become tough, i grown up, all because of him. sadness will fade away with time, but happiness stays. Everything is going to be okay and fine,because I know you will too.
No one is right or wrong in love. that's all.

'If only if there is an equation for love.'

Thank you for all the memories.

Tears

2011-12-04T22:48:00.001+09:00

Tears. There are tear of happiness, touch, disappointment, angry, etc. But tear for today is tear of sadness. Yea, I am sad. Well you can say "again???", but I am sad. The truth that you know clearly is not hurting until you heard it from someone else. The truth that have been bothering and upsetting you for years. The words are hurting. tearing the heart, and the soul. Tears. only if the tears can heal the wound. Only if the tears can change the fact. Only if...

Surprise!

2011-11-25T13:32:00.001+09:00

Second day of exam has just over. left the classroom with weary eyes, for the results of studying at the very last minute before exam) and came back with with anger and upset. Matters related to the dormitory are getting worse. Relationship between us and the Japanese are stiff now(well,may be that is my own point of view). complaints and claims are heard often. And I found myself to be very easily effected by others opinion or subjective views. I know I am unhappy about all those craps, but,a big BUT, I cant tell or argue on why I feel unfair about them. And now, there is a big decision to make again. decision that will affect the relationship between Japanese and foreigners in TNCT, now and in the future. ''Decide for yourself but not for others'',said my honeys. but sometimes, we just cant do whatever we want to. Well, I am too tired now to think about this. So to get rid of those upset thoughts from my head, hehehehehe, wanna tell you about my happening yesterday. No guessing is needed. it is about us again. hehehe

Remember the gift I mentioned that I was looking forward in the previous post?(Nah, see here in case you didnt see hehe=) and now... guess what???? I GOT HIS PRESENT for our anniversary FINALLY!!!! taa-daa!!!!!

Well,Okay, this is how it looked like when I noticed about it in my post box.XD first with curiosity I walked toward the post box, then I saw the very very familiar hand writing. At that moment, I was like,''OMG, is it him??'' And yeah, It was from him!! I was too happy that I was lost on whether to unwrap it in front of my post box where everyone might see my silly but excited face, or open it slowly in my room, enjoying the sweetness of the gift. XD Well, I was able to calm down and be rational, I decided to open it in my room.. hehe. but I was hopping up the staircase with the excitement that couldn't help showing up on my face. unwrapping the parcel( so many layers of plastic bags covered on) and I got this!!

picture he made with his precious time(on drama -.-')

hehehehhe.. He knows I like Sesame Street! The surprise made my day again. I guess this is the merit of being in a long distance relationship. =) Well,if you are not, you can do so by sending gift to your partners house too, XD HAve a good day! till then..... jya ne.. =)

分叉路口

2011-11-11T22:44:00.004+09:00

不知不觉，又踏入了年尾。
上个月才为研究室而烦恼了很久
现在又是做决定的时候了。
人生，真的只有选择与决定吗？

最近的我很忧郁。
或许应该说，我一直都很忧郁。
其实有发现自己的部落格都是记载着我的心情，
都是在低落时写下的心情。
不喜欢这样，
但是我就是在不开心的时候才会想写部落格。
开心的事，难分享。
可能因为伤心的时间总是长过开心的时间吧。

又来到新的分叉路口,
又是做决定的时候。
心中其实有了一个决定，
但是没有信心能做到，
所以都说我还没决定。

站在这个分叉路口，
我不知所挫。
万事俱备，
只欠一个信念。

是时候证明自己能够走多远了。

Homesick

2011-11-10T22:45:00.002+09:00

I think I miss my home.Not sure but I think I am missing them more and more.
I thought I wont miss them and have once told my senior that I will be okay for not going back home next spring and summer holiday, I said I would be fine. told the same thing too to my family before I left home last summer.
But I am missing home right now. just 3 months after I left them.

sour eyes with smile while talking about my dad.
cried after seeing my mom crying over the screen.
Happy when I got my sister posted on my wall saying she miss me badly.
Laughed like I've never laughed before when brother told me about his good news.

I am so sentimental I know, That most of my post here are about my feelings.
But I can write only when I am emo.

I am into so many things these days.
Too many things on my mind that I am so tired of thinking,
and I am lost in doing things that I suppose to do.
I doubt about many things.

3rd Anniversary

2011-11-09T21:11:00.004+09:00

owh yea, this post should be posted on 31st October, but..hm.. I have been busy lately(excuse)LOL.

everything in last OCtober was not in good timing. We didnt celebrate our anniversary this year. but we made something for each other ans send it via post.( he said he made something ugly for me.. cant wait to get them. heheh)

Three years, it's neither long nor short. Still remembered myself saying that I wont fall for him, but finally, it turned into reality.
I have been making an album of us, all handmade, and found it a good way to release stress. because I feel happy whenever i make it.

Happy Anniversary to my love one.. <3

filled with gloom

2011-10-27T22:19:00.002+09:00

It is another emotional day.
I am in a gloomy mood while writing this post.

I dislike being ignored.
I dislike being neglected.
I dislike being brought into trouble that wasn't mine.
I dislike being ordered by an unsystematic person.
I islike being doubted.
I dislike everything when I am upset,
dislike everything but hate myself the most.

I laughed, I smiled, I joked, I enjoyed,
without my true soul.
I do,I learnt, I remember, I think,
without my brain.
I decided, I challenged, I tried,
without determination.

oh,what a bad day.
should I sleep early today,
get rid of everything that occupying my mind now,
hoping for a better tomorrow.
well, tomorrow wouldn't be a better one if I continued to be like this.

Till then.

窗外

2011-10-20T23:14:00.004+09:00

寒冷的早晨，
沉闷的讲解，
被窗外传来的机械声引起注意。

被割下的校园的杂草，
一堆堆的堆在池塘周围。
浓郁的叶子的味道，
让我目不转睛的看着收拾杂草的Aunty uncle们。
看着看着，
想着想着，
突然这种想法出现了。

其实我以后成为路边打扫的杂工也不错嘛。
空气清新，
虽然会辛苦点，
但是不必用脑，不就是最好的嘛。

最近用太多脑，
用在多余的顾虑。
还有不必要的担忧。
好废。

下个星期，
就是下个星期的今天，
我明年的一年，
将会被决定。

没有期望很多，
只是期待7天后，
接下去的日子。

好期待。

ps:文章有点怪，
别见怪。=）

生病了

2011-10-12T20:46:00.000+09:00

生病了。在日本的第二年，终于生病了。大家应该很奇怪为什么我说‘终于'吧。他们说，日本人的生活太干净，使他们的自然免疫力退化，容易生病。在日本的第一年，看见日本人个个都穿口罩。特别是在春，秋和冬天。问了身边的人，才知道原因。要不是因为花粉症，就是伤风感冒。从马来西亚的我，身体比较好吧。但是，第二年了，应该是习惯了日本的空气，食物和生活环境吧》》生病了。有Lydia 的照顾，太好了。当然这个时候会想念某些人。=.=''上课，一位我非常仰慕的老师关心我，有点受宠若惊。开心=）

Old Friend ; Best Friend

2011-09-11T18:49:00.001+09:00

It was a wonderful day having my best friend with me the whole day.It was 11 in the morning and her car parked in front of my house, waiting for me. Imagine a big sized girl, grabbing her blue hand bag, running and leaping towards the silver car.I was too happy to see her again! nevertheless. I am going shopping. heheheShe is pretty, gorgeous as usual but always make people feel fresh every time meeting her.She is one of the girl who inspires me. Has tomyam cintan Mee for our lunch before heading to Queensbay Mall in PenangThe mall was not crowded as I found last few times when I came, despite it was a Saturday.spent four hours in a mall, but only walked in to 4 boutiques. which means we spent one hours averagely in one shop.hahahha. Man,see.. this is when girls meet shopping. XDdidnt buy much thing but very lucky, I bought a pair of suits that I have been searching since last year.heheh.. We walked, we shopped, we chatted. The time flies. I can say we didnt stop chatting all the way long. How great I hope I can chat with a friend like this too in Japan. But I guess it is impossible. huhuhu, my japanese speaking skill is getting poorer and poorer. =(came back to Bedong at 7pm and we decided to go for movie again later on. We are watching The Smurfs!!!!!I wanted to watch soooooo badly but everytime I missed the chance. and now, it was time!! somemore watching with my best friend. hehehe..the little blue buddies. hehe.. I 'smurf' smurfs 'Smurfly'!!!!!

Brief Update..with weary eyes

2011-09-10T02:19:00.006+09:00

have not updated my blog for a month. I always wanted to,
but I always had excuses on not doing it.
Sometimes, I am tired,
Sometimes, I wanted to watch movies,
Sometimes, I wanted to sleep earlier but ended up surfing around.
Sometimes, I wanted to go hanging out with friends.

Have a lot of things to write down, but not knowing where to start, I gave up.
Not a professional blogger, nevermind. haha XD
I added nuffnang into my blog and it took me a night time to know more about it.

Going very well with boyfriend recently. His calls, his way of teasing and grumping towards me ( in his very special way), and flirting always make me smile. well, this is what couples will do right?=)

just came back from a nice trip with my parents 2 hours ago. Meeting my sister on the way back home, not know why, I feel great and warm to be with her, in her room. I miss her. I know she surely miss me more than I do, she is so fragile that I want to be with her most of the time, but in fact, she mentally protects me the most. sisters, the complicated but wonderful relationship.=)

And tomorrow!! yeah TOMORROW!! I am going to Penang with my best friend, Qi!!!!!!! Shopping, not needed to be explained, the greatest entertainment for girls!! ant wait for tomorrow.. hehehhehe.=P

Well, a bried update for now.gotta go to bed,so that I can be prettier for tomorrow's outing. eheheh.. Wil update soon. I promise guys!! XD
till then..Good night...

电车上的1个小时

2011-08-03T18:30:00.002+09:00

从实习回来路途，都得坐1个小时左右的电车。
那是漫长的时间，也是我唯一会专心在下载了平时却不用的applications。
我的实习排档，开口闭口就是介绍我去旅行，而且都是谈吃的。刚开始是一星期见一次，就是说一星期只听一次，刚开始还蛮有兴趣听他的介绍，但是，现在天天都得听，开始觉得他很烦，就没有别的话题吗觉得烦了，敷衍了他，就埋头在电话里，不管了。还好他不是KY（不识趣），总算停下来了。

那一个小时路程，我开始看了下载下来的小说，是张小娴的作品。所以今天特别有感觉用话文写部落格。好久没看小说了，原来华语还是我最熟悉的。这几年，为了加强自己的英语，都是在看英语新闻，读英语故事书，写英语留言。还记得上个月为了预定台北的一间客房，对方应该是看我有中文名字，所以用华语寄了一封电邮来。我看得懂，但是回信却难倒了我，向运洁‘求问’。身边的人知道我会4，5个语言，觉得我很厉害。可是，事实不是那么好。看来我得加把劲，学好现在都是‘半桶水’的语言了。华语，英语，马来语，日语，还有我应该是每有资格说我会的淡米尔语。可是真的好想再学会淡米尔语，不到半桶也无所谓，至少我能明白一些些。=）

一边看小说，也一边与前辈同简讯。谈起了那个人的事。前辈只是轻轻问过，可是话题就留在头脑，不能离开。其实这件事是我这两年来最不想要去想的事，但是没得避免。就算是能避免的也免了，到最后是变成一个‘畏’字。简讯的其中一封，虽然会担心被当事人发现，但是内心是很想被他看见。这是一种变态吗？哈哈。不管了，为了逃避，我忍耐了一年多，难道这三年都不得不免吗？有时候真的觉得好难受。没关系啦，陈彩馨是能忍的。

没写部落各的这几个月，发生了很多很多事情。不需要指望我会写出来，因为我是名副其实的善忘，忘了发生了什么事。当然还会记得被社会关注的事，就好像马来西亚的黄色示威运动。对了，这几天常有余震，有点担心。专家预测这30年在日本会有一次大地震，4个月前是在福岛，而这将会是在东京附近。与上次的不同，将会是，伤害力更强的垂直式地震。

日本现在是夏天，可是这3个星期的气温是比春天还低。那天台风袭击日本，导致整个月就好像是6月的梅雨，雨下个不停。那天的3天2夜箱根之旅，一般是因为这种天气而泡汤了。

后天就去台湾了，台湾一个星期，在到新加坡，才回家。
不知道爸妈最近怎样了，好久没打电话回家了。

I miss my family

2011-05-29T18:13:00.003+09:00

I miss my mama, my papa, my lovely da jie and two brothers...T.T

I miss my sister and mama the most! may be I heard their voices three days ago.
It was my mom's birthday two days ago.
I couldnt be there. I wanna ctalk and laugh with them.
I dreamed about my sister marrying her boyfriend last night.
It was too sweet that i didnt want to wake up from my dream. (as if i can control) haha.

wanna go shopping with my da jie(sister),
wanna go travel with my best friend,Feng qi.
Wanna teased by jia liang.
wanna stand beside my tall tall brother jia dong.

arghhh....
I wan see them!!...

a girl(lady)'s emotion

2011-05-29T14:33:00.005+09:00

I was to start writing this post by deciding a title and I got stuck. A girl? or a lady or WOMAN?
Oh no!!!! I am no longer a girl,You see? I am 21! 21 years old, an adult huh..
well, keep it aside, dont mind. -.-'

Days have been occupied by assignments, reports and thought(about nothing? o.0). And time passes too fast that I just came to realized that I havent thought about which laboratory to enter and which university to choose. You might think it's still half year time ahead but it's unexpectedly fast.
Anyway, what matter the most is my 4th year's academic results if I wish to get recommendation from school. BUt wait! I am still struggling on my reports and not yet started any revision!! So envy with my friends that can start their revisions already =(
well, may be i am giving myself pressure because results matters this time.
as the Japanese say: なんとかなるよ。or chinese's 船到桥头自然直.. hahaha. i should think positively. when one door is closed, another door will be opened.
Argh, why so many aphorism?? crazy..

it was the premenstrual period i think, I was under depression,a very very serious one. for two weeks, everything didnt seem to go well, everything seemed difficult, everyone with any action irritates me. and after all, my boyfriend became the biggest victim again. XD
cold war started off, neither calls nor messages...
hohoho. but shouldnt him understand me?? XD haha. its hormne unbalance and it occurs one a month for normal girl(lady) ,hey!! now i blame it on the hormone.XD sory hormone, but you really bad lah!!!

good food always the best stress relief. I am in love with tofu now!! just found out that it is tasty ans easy to cook!!

pumpkin is my favorite too!!!

oppsss.. it is fish curry, malaysian style heh.. cooked using baba's curry powder=)
here is the pumpkin!

look nice and tasty right??? in fact they were!! hohohoh..

bought a home bakery appliance two days ago. it's too simple that you just have to measure the ingredients and put into the gadget!!! then you can get a loaf of breat or toast and even cake depends on what flavor or droppings you like!!!!
nah!!!

hehe...
till then!

menu 2

2011-05-07T13:03:00.004+09:00

Finally, after a month, I made another japanese Dish. hehe..

see see.
first is the ひじき炒め(HIJIKI-Itame) a kind of sea weed I think.

second one.. no name for it. I cooked it with the experience cooking the previous one. hehe
another failure again. burned the pot. hahahah

so there is it.. hehe. I want to make white sauce baked rice. but I couldnt find the solidify cream. hmm

recently..

2011-04-22T00:21:00.003+09:00

It has been 3 weeks since the school reopen. everything was still like last year.
I was worried and afraid at the beginning of the year as days back in last year was terrifying. Phobia with the new days coming to me.

however, it was still okay so far. two juniors entered my course.one from malaysia and one from indonesia. both are cute, cheerful and naughty girls. Days with them were happy and I feel like myself sticking to them more then they need me.=P
Lydia has gone,Subasni has left..sometimes, emptiness occupies me although two cute juniors are with me. It is still different with before.

So far, I have been in very good mood when I am with other people, especially my juniors and classmates,I found that smile can actually bring more luck for ourselves. When you smile, people smile.when you say hello, people say hi.I should have realized this one year ago, XD

last week was a brain racking day. Had to decide on which internship to go.
and with helpssssss from seniors, I decided! hehe..
still doubting if I can do it, but I decided to challenge myself one more time. you may say it doesnt matter much, but for me, it is another step leading me to my target of being better-me. hehehe

And about my japanese recipe, ohohoho. i know.. i missed two weeks cooking it. hehe..
I didnt forget! just that I am lazy to go shopping. and shopping can actually make me spend more..
wait for my next entry!!

夜桜

2011-04-07T22:26:00.002+09:00

It was two days ago when I was invited by a lecturer of mine to go for Sakura-Night-Seeing.
Was surprised and happy that I got invited. Had been lookin forward for today.

And so, here we go after waiting 30 minutes for him to finish hi stuff in laboratory.
He is fame with his humor. Every sentence from his mouth is a joke.
from 6.30pm to 9pm. They chit-chatted,and I listened. I paid full attention to their conversation.I could understand some.
and it got tiring when it continued for hours.

Three of them talked and laughed. I could only listen but couldnt understand.
so upset and embarrassing to face a group of people joking by themselves while you dont understand most of the content. fake smile and blank stare was the only things I could do. haiz.
I care how people think of myself, i think most of us do. I have been staying and interacting woth Japanese for one year, and yet I couldnt speak fluent Japanese and understand 100%.
Are you having the same difficulty as mine too. Please say yes, at least it comforts me a little.

argh.. i am so depressed now.
And in situation like this, I need him the most.I could hear his word saying 'one needs to sacrifice to get what he or she wants'

sacrifice huh.
i hate i hate i hate thiss!!!!!!!!!

Mastering Japanese food.first two recipes^^

2011-04-06T22:48:00.005+09:00

I came out with this idea on mastering the japanese food about a month ago after trying out sewing, origami and book reading. hohoho.
Firstly, you know for Chinese, 'food' is everything.It becomes a topic whenever you go to a new place,i believe =）
Friends and family asked me if I can cook any Japanese food, and of course my answer was a NO. haha.. so I bought a recipe book for beginner, and decided to cook one or two dishes every weekend. I have two years more, two books in two years is possible I guess.

Secondly, My boyfriend cooks better than me even though he had never cooked before. In fact I prepared my family's 3 meals since I was a standard 6 girl.My cooking isn't that bad after all,just that they are 'unlookable'

So these are the two dishes tried out last Sunday.taddaa~~
this is from my own hands..^^　pimento ketchup pork slices.

and this is what it should look like... not bad huh? =)

but actually for the ketchup sauce, I should add some chili sauce, I didnt have=( used chili paste intead.hoho

another one!!!! radish cooked in soy sauce

it looks like this in the recipe

this one was a failure actually. theradish shoudln't be in this size nor shape. It should be a round one with crossing cut at the centre, but i cut it of crossly into four parts. japanese understanding failure was the reason! ahah
and I put too much ofstarch powder which made the soup too sticky. but the taste wasnt bad, because I used tsuyu, japanese'soup made from fish, which makes eveything tastes good.XD

anyway, it was a good start for me XD. gambare Tang Chye Sin =))

...

2011-04-06T21:18:00.002+09:00

it has been just one month I didn't update my blog. But a lot of things happened in this short time,especially the predicted but unbelievable tragedy that happened to the Land of the Rising Sun.
A 8.9l gratitude earthquake had hit Japan,causing tsunami which swept away hundred thousand people's lives and damaged Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant. Chaos happened in the neighboring countries due to the worrying towards the possible leaking of radiation.

Since then, most of the customers who entered my dad's shop asked me the same questionsssss again!!
'Jepun tsunami lo, u mau balik Jepun lagi ar?' or
'tempat u belajak kat mane? tak kena tsunamii ar?' or
'tak yah balik la, radiation lo, balik buat apa?'
these were the most frequent asked questions. there are more questions that I cant tell all.

people listen, read and tell about the tragedy. mom and dad and relatives started to worry about my returning to japan. There was even a suggestion from a friend to stop studying in Japan but start all over again in local Universities or colleges. and my respone to this suggestion was---Walao, 太夸张了啦！！ sorry for using different languages but I want to express it in a more accurate way. forgive me=)
Parents were worried and they wanted me to postpone my flight to Japan. I thought that postponing one week wouldnt change anything if the radiation was really there. I would got affected by the radiation too. but to comfort my worried papa and mama, I decided to postpone.
And thus I reached Japan on 4th April instead of 31st March.

We said goodbye on 3rd April evening. It was really really hard to say goodbye. I didnt feel reluctant, not until I stood beside my mom,wanted to give a hug and say goodbye.
but... but.. hehe.. tears dropped before I realized. Mom refused to hug hug and she cried too. what an embarrassing phenomenon!! lucky that there wasnt any customer in shop.hehehe
Papa seeing me off until I got into car. His eyes was red, and it was my first time seeing this.
couldnt control, tears dropped rapidly,non stop. aduhai...

my brothers are the cutest persons in the world!!! i dont know how to describe the day they said goodbye to me. It was just, sweet....<3
I miss them already.

being home

2011-03-08T01:34:00.002+09:00

Hai hai!! I am back to Malaysia!!!! well, it isn't really an excited thing though.
Erm, It was almost two weeks ago since I reached home. too busy and lazy to update =P.
I should enjoy my days first right? hhe

It was my first time returning to Malaysia from overboard, and I have been waiting for the day(25th Feb 2011). Things happened which my home returning became an unhappy one.
First, I left the valentine's gift for him in the fridge of my dormitory in Japan. It was such a shame that I felt so sad about that.
second, we quarreled in the airport which brought us into a cold war for hours in the airport and plane.And I almost missed the plane.( I boarded 5minutes before the flight time)
third, I just realised that I bought too few souvenirs for my friends and family. I need more!But my luggage as overweight already!

If someone asked me the first thing I felt for this home returning, I would say, HOT!!!!
Malaysia is really hot. I could feel the heat once I stepped onto the exit gate of the plane.
people around us weren't just fair,but yellow and dark. words on the sign boards wasn't english or Jpanese but Malay was the main language.

Back to home, days are not special. Days are just like before. I help in my Dad's grocery shop. Shouting and asking my parents for the prices of goods,chatting and joking with the customers.
AH,, the special one is this---Avoiding my parents friends. 三姑六婆
I avoid because I dont like explaining about life in Japan and their questions dont change.
oo. You are the one go to Japan ar? how's Japan? Japan nice ho? You stay in hokkaido or tokyo? you get used to their food ?(As if Japanese only eat Sushi)
Come on.. Change the topic. ishhhh..
I run whenever I see their cars approaching my dad's shop.hehe..

My parents have bought a new house near to my current house. mom is busy with the renovation of the house. We children dreamed for the home showed in TV but mom has her own budget and she said she is satisfied with a normal and simple house. hmm. nvm lo, We build our own dream house in the future and let her stay with us. ^^
earn money!!!!

met up with my best friend in a japanese restaurant. Wasnt bad^^
the outing was a nice and comfortable one as I only listen to her story. I wanted to share my storied in Japan too, but the memories in Japan just lost and blank in my head.

I think I really have a memory lost problem. I cant remember things well. its like, when I am in Japan, I barely remember how Malaysia is. AND now i am in Malaysia, I merely remember what I feel in Japan. Oh no.... I want to tell my stories to my grandchildren next time but now I am worrying if I could tell my child in the nearer future.. XD

the day after tomorrow will be myone week trip to sarawak, KL and Kampar!!!

Till then^^

Two weeks before going back home

2011-02-12T20:00:00.005+09:00

It’s 13 days until I go back to my sweet home, but I have to endure with my exam first before I can start packing my luggage, and this is the hardest part when you are waiting for the time to come, but more time on preparing and studying at the very last minute for the exam.
I luckily had two extra public holidays. But, still, I spent the time unwisely. I stay awake till the midnight talking to my bf, facebook-ing, Tumblr-ing, taking picture of the first snow in my place. Then woke u late in the morning, Again, spent my whole day with the books on my table writing and solving without my heart. Newly bought camera kept seducing me to take the picture of snow. It is not nice to experience the first snow during the exam week. But, because of my senior, Subasni’s temptation to play in the snow, I didn’t miss the chance enjoying the snow. We couldn’t feel our fingers and toes. Freezing… but we still could move and play around larrr…and went to the Nepali food in neighbor village(?) with my classmates ..
Hey, come to think of it, it wasn’t a wate of time right? Haha.. great, no regret no regret.
Huuuuhhh.. outside is cold and my room is warm, but unventilated. It’s cold if I open the window or door. What should I do.XD
Writing craps here, don’t want to go back to my books. Dull and makes me more dizzy in this unventilated room. Argh.. I need Malaysia’s air.!

first snow flake i saw in my life time

happy valentine's day!

She is Subasni

I love this picture the most.<3

除夕夜

2011-02-02T22:19:00.003+09:00

现在的几个小时前，
满满的读书心情
心情是不寻常的快乐

现在对着电脑
看着爸爸那着给我的红包
心里想的，
并不是我19 年来期待新年拿红包的心情，
而是告诉爸，我要的并不是红包！
这是爸第一次猜不到我的心吧。

我想要得
是六个人肩搭肩说新年快乐
是抱着爸爸的手臂
是全家围着没有空间的圆桌
是和大姐在房里试穿明天去婆婆家的新衣服
是在妈妈的房间帮她包红包
是四兄弟姐妹守夜玩扑克，输钱的会瓜瓜叫，赢钱的会哈哈笑

新年初一，
我总是会摆臭脸，因为爸妈很爱拖时间
因为不喜欢应酬亲戚，
而且得六人挤一两车

但是现在身在他乡
终于感受到那种幸福，是特别的
虽然和前辈，还有其他留学生
一起在中国料理
但是心里还是空虚的

最温馨的，
还是今早睡醒受到好友，芬荠的祝福与问候
绮，我还是喜欢枫绮。。。
谢谢你。love love

最后，
和大姐自拍
才把那心情回复回来

新年快乐！！！

My passion (?)

2011-01-22T19:43:00.006+09:00

P/S: I am not upset while writing this ^-^

I always wish myself to be an outstanding or at least a better person than I am now.
erm,outstanding??
For this reason,I have been struggling and working hard on discovering myself-what my passion, my interest, my strength and my personality is.
I always ask,learn,remember(as I always forget^_^), ask myself and others for advice, plan my future, keep myself breast of news.....
I made myself read before I slept every night to improve my English,bought sewing kit to learn sewing, flours and recipe to learn cooking, took up a post in MSAJ despite all the fears and unconfidence...
I need to find thing that I am really really keen in, and do something with it, at least i can answer when someone ask about my hobby or how I spend my free time.

.... but sad to tell, i failed to find my passion. =.='
I thought about things that I feel good after doing it to know what my passion is.
I feel that I am the happiest person when watching Hindi movies, though the story line for most of the movies are almost the same, but I just cant move my eyes from the screen, tears of touching and laughing never absent while watching. And I cant say it is my passion,that I cant even remember the actors' names, update myself with new releasing movie. well, It might be my passion.owh.

Next, I like shopping, put on nice dress and clothes. Okay, you can say it is everyone's interest,erm,but let me put it in my like-list,pleaseee.^^
thank you.. hehe
I wish to have a huge wardrobe that heaped with clothes and dress, a lovely box with accessories, another wardrobe for shoes,and HIGH HEELSSSSSSSSS!!!! But that is impossible with no self-income, nice body line, and the height.lol!! This also can be a passion too right?

I enjoy taking and looking at photos. Nah, this one I improve in photographing. The last time I scolded for couldn't snap a nice photo was last year and now I am praised by some of my friends. of course I cant snap very good picture yet, but at least 'not bad' hehe..

Hmm.. what else??

oh ya, I like to listen to people.passion?? dont know*shrugging* XD

'U have to sacrifice to achieve anything you long for' is what he always tell me, his principle.

Happy New Year!!!(i know its late=0 )

2011-01-14T19:13:00.007+09:00

I wanted to title this blog as 'New Year Resolution' but I could not stop myself from relating this title to my English Composition class, where my teacher asked us to write a looooonnnnggggg essay about what we wanted to achieve in this new year. Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!! I know we should set a target for our future but, please, not composition. =)
I couldn't think about other title, and so the lame title is decided. haha

New year celebration 2011 was different with past years. I spent my new year eve in a Internet Cafe ( Japanese call it Kisaten), sleeping in a narrow, small,uncomfortable cubicle, rolling myself into a moon shape. The worst one was that I lost the precious souvenir that represented 6 of us.

each of us would have taken each color. but i lost it. Guilty !!!! I am sorry girls!!

Nothing meant more than celebrating a speacial day with people I miss a lot.
Went to HArajuku with Xue Mey to meet up Angela and Si Gee. sudah lama tak jumpa lorrr. I missed them so much. While waiting for the two beauties, hanging around a big temple in Harajuku with Xue Mey. The Japanese clebrates their new year by visiting and praying in temples. A temporary Harajuku Station was set up because of the flow of people to the temple was too large. Some of them wearing traditional clothing.

People throwing coins into the area covered by white clothes in front of the main temple hall

traditional clothings,Kimono if I am not mistaken^^

writing my wishes on a wooden piece^^

haha dont laugh at my wishes! I meant it!

It had come to noon when the two beauties arrived(finally).too excited to meet them after a long time, we chatted near the exit of station. And I got a BIG, HUGE surprise!!!!! I met Krishna, my best friend, my special friend!!! We didn't make arrangement to meet each other, nor know where each other would be. But we met!!! I was so excited and surprised that I kept hitting on his arms. haha. too excited.. I dont usually hit people(>.<)

these pictures were taken in a Softbank store in harajuku, playing Ipad while waiting the iphones to be fully charged.
Four of us walking around harajuku but ended up with shopping alone. Si gee and I separated half way=.=... xue mey and Angela, having no interest in clothes shopping, sitting at Mc D. haha.

Xinyi met us up for lunch too^^ received her souvenir from Taiwan^^ I got a muffler, very furry ..
I left them earlier to meet Fu Wei, who was with his boyfriends shopping for fukubukuro at another place. We were heading to Osaka very soon after that^^

Ski trip 2010 (Naeba, Nigata)

2011-01-05T20:23:00.001+09:00

so it was a ski trip organized by hong yao, my senior studying in the same kosen as Fu Wei,on 29th to 31st Dec 2010.
It was my first time dealing with the freezing cold weather, and of course, snowboarding.
I didnt look forward to it before going, however, I did enjoy the 3 days with my friends, and seniors,although there were only 5 seniors who came.
oh.. I miss them already..

erm.. lazy to elaborate, just write my feeling and conclusion(hehe)

I feel so thankful to Fu wei,Pei Loon for teaching me how to slide down from the steep hill of snow,using snowboard,Ah Chan sempai for lending me his cool and stunning snowboard(mine ws found broken, up at the top of the hill XD)
Thanks to Soon Kie,for being encouraging and companying me during the trip,Hong Yao, Minley and ming rong for guiding me.
erm, why I write as I had won a grand prize? haha.. but i really want to say thank you ma..

Fall and tumbling many many times, we found ourselves couldnt wake up the next morning. The body was in pain, tired arms, legs, shoulders, and BUTTOCKS!!!!!

cute leh? =)

my gang of snowborading. soon kie, keng yaw, pei loon^^

3 beauties in the snow!!haha

two pretty and lovely seniors^^ Kelly and Minley!

'pillow talk with pei loon, soon kie, Jun hao and hong yao. jun hao couldnt stand with the tiredness. imagine we stay awake all night long after the all day snowboarding and falling!!

photo taken in front of staying place

us^^
It was a fun trip I have had. Like to have a gathering like this, with friends, seniors and .er.Juniors??? haha..
argh.. the juniors re coming to Japan in 2 more months> I will be the senior, not the youngest junior in Japan anymore!
I dont wanT!!!!!

nasi lemak gathering at new discovered neighbor's house^^

2010-12-26T23:54:00.006+09:00

I just happened to know that the performers of Malaysian Night are my neighbor in Hachiouji. this is great.

I like the malays for their sincerity. they are sincere to friends and appreciate the relationshiops between friends and family.
Shau, one of my 'newly discovered neighbor' invited us to hi house to have nasi lemak gathering.
I went there earlier to help out. and know I learned how to cook a nice nasi lemak!!! gonna try this out^^ Thank you Shau^^

the guy is the chef, Shau. and to the right it is Aime, myself and Anna

this nasi lemak was so great that I want to have more. but my stomach couldnt have more!!

christmas

2010-12-26T23:23:00.005+09:00

It was Christmas eve and I woke up at 1pm resulted by the tiredness after the Malaysian Night(though I didnt do much )
night before christmas, I spent my time eating, watching Bollywood movie, 3 Idiots
and the doing homework. It was a great night for me as I like this kind of life, spending time on my pace, doing things that I like.

My host family canceled the christmas plan with me as their old folk passed aways week ago.
a sad one.

I had the plan to go to the newly opened Forever 21 in Shibuya,alone. Nah, the word 'alone' is not that lonely actually , but someone told me that shopping alone on christmas day would be too sad. hmm.. ya, kind of.

but finally I went shopping alone and spent quite a sum of money. I got lost again.haha. That's me.
the night, invited by Jun Hao,i spent my christmas with my seniors. (Sze yang, dong sheng,Jun Hao, Pei Loon, lig cheik and his girlfriend)
all seniours, just myself as a junior joining their celebration. quite weird actually but I enjoyed the night.

we went to Roppongi for dinner and have a look at illumination.
Mentioned about the dinner, it really took us a lot of time. We couldnt find the restaurant we decided to have out lovely dinner. I was starving from 4 to 8. we ended up waiting for seats at an Indian food restaurant.

It was a fun night hanging around with them. four of us spent a night chatting about philosophy.lol. it was surprising that Jun Hao has such philosophical thought too. haha XD
I learned a lot from them. especially this one thing i agree so much
'as a leader, you have to trust your people that they can complete the task you have given'
nice one..^^

but the sad one was, my bf got angry with me. hanigng out with guys alone as a girl might be the reason, but I think neglected him was another reason too. what should I do?

Ropongi

Malaysian Night 2010

2010-12-26T22:54:00.007+09:00

two days before Christmas, it was Malaysian Night organized by MSAJ.
The EXCOs have taken months on planning for this. And Malaysian Night 2010 went smoothly.
It was my first time learnd to dance, and it was Indian dance. I still doubting where did I got the courage to take this challenge, but I did it, with the help, guidance and support from Nazarruddin, a Petronas scholars studying in Keio University.

This is Naza, A funny guy but berkaliber. the fork in his hand was the present for every performer as appreciation. weird right, well this is Naza.
And from this, I know one more Indian friend,Thaneer and his friend Ruiz. Thaneer is my indian dancing partner. I feel thankful for joining MSAJ that I could know so many nice friends in Japan like Jun Hao, Siriphong, Naza, Shau, and Suzana. It is so great that I could know them.
and of course I have thanks Fuwei and Lydia for encouraging me to join MSAJ and TJ for giving out the chance to me. thanks guys and girls^^

th girl with blue shirt is Suzana I mentioned above. Xinyi was there to help me too. she came all along the far aways Gunma just to help us out. Thank you Xinyi^^
and there are Anna, Aime and Joceline too.

last practice before the MAlaysian Night

It was a great night meeting my seniors and some Malays friends and seniors again. I like meeting them and chat with them. chatting around and enjoy the atmosphere of the night.

Felt so reluctant to end the night and say goodbye to the people who were involved in planning and helping out in Malaysian Night. WIshed We could have a drink and chit chatting before the day ended.

December! ^^

2010-12-11T12:04:00.003+09:00

It is December! I couldn't remember but faintly about my past years Decembers.

Unlike Japan, December is the end of the year in Malaysia. Schools is in holiday, Families go on trips,company's are summarizing their yearly account, shopping mall have year end grand sales, supermarkets hold promotions.....

hmm.. I remember my longing for holidays when I was a school girl. I couldn't wait to go Genting Highland with my family, have fun and hang around in the colder weather. Six of us would be sitting in daddy's Nissan Vanette, bad mouthing about our customers(XD), daddy giving advice while driving, two brothers sleeping on the half way of 5hr journey, mum listening to dad's blah-ing..
When the four children fell asleep by dad's blah-ing, mum would still awake to keep eyes on the road.^^

When I was a high school teenager, I think I was busy attending tuition classes. There we are! The journey to tuition time in groups had been my good time talking and 'shooting' by my friends.lol.
They just liked to tease me, hmm, even now, they cant stop make jokes about me. Hmm.. it is not a bad one,in fact, I love the way we make fun about each other^^Its just that I have been the victim all the time XD

Couldnt remember the Decembers I spent in KL. hmm.. sorry! my memory is really suck.(harsh lla!)

And this year,2010's December, the first December I spend in Japan. How much fun will it be?
hmm.. has been practicing performance third time (including kindergarden time( >.<) in my life. And Dancing is just not my talent,what matter most is that I am dancing indian dance.even myself couldnt imagine myself dancing.haiz.. Gonna build up the thickest skin of my face. !
My december schedule is almost packed. had two school trips, three christmas parties, dancing practice every weekend, visiting my host family, ski trip in Nagaoka and the kansai trip I looking forward to the most..hehe..
wish me good times in december!

记忆力

2010-12-07T12:14:00.003+09:00

为什么我的记忆力那么差!!!!

很无奈。。
我没有办法不忘记，不是我不要记得
忘记就算了，但是却误会人家。
坚持自己听过的事是事实，
最后在发现是自己记错，
那场面很尴尬，也很抱歉。
向你道歉，你总是说没关系

我们之间的误会和不满
应该越来越多了吧。
还是那只是我的想法。
很多时候，
觉得自己应该容让
但是就是会有些事情我不能接受

还是很喜欢我们在一起疯狂的时间
喜欢听你讲故事
喜欢看你发疯的那面
希望那疯狂的时间可以多一点
希望我可以宽容多一点
计较少一点
开心多一点
误会少一点

Blogging

2010-11-26T16:15:00.004+09:00

I have been thinking to publicize my blog so that I can exchange link with other bloggers or know more bloggers from different places. Nah,when I say this,it doesn't mean that I could get international blogging friends(though I wish to =P).But I am not publicizing because of many reasons.^^ You know the reason if you know me^^

I started blogging since I know my boyfriend. Reading his blog was one of my favorite routine.
His blog was simple but it was the interesting and humorous content impressed me. His blog reflects (he still has his blog but...he hasn't been writing for some time) his youthful and no worries personality. This is what I love about him, a joyous one with pessimistic one to make a stability.XD

I am emotional and think a lot about every single thing related to my life,(excluding the content of my textbooks^^),so I have too much things in my head that I would compile them and write them into words.I am a typical petty girl with such emotional things and I often remember those upset than happy ones. That's the reason I only allow people I allowed to read.

I have been following some blogs and I have some curious parts with their spirit in posting blog and their thoughts. every single post is about thing that happened in their surrounding,and they seem happy everyday. Don't they have time being emo or tired or sad or gloomy?
And why I am being unhappy and worry more than being optimistic that I should?
and why lar I am writing like I am being emo again???? ish!

homestay(13-14 Nov 2010)

2010-11-15T20:42:00.010+09:00

Finally, I have a host family in Japan which I have been looking forward to.
There was a party organized by LABO association on 13th Nov,We weren't able to attend.
Was a very nice part where most of the the members are children. There a some tutors working there(not sure they get paid or not though).My host family is one of the tutors.
hmm.. it was a really impressive association because most of them are children from 3 to 20 years old. And there was a litle 9 year old girl, introducing herself in English. I have to say that her English was good. She,Kurumi, was ery active and TALKATIVE.She was talking non stop since we met,all the way from Chou Fu to Mejirodai(40min JOurney) until she was taken home by his young father.
Her father has been working in Singapore Olypus Company,that is why their English was good.lol.
Impressive huh.^^

staying one night at my host family's house in Mejirou dai,which is 30 min walking distance from my hostel, too nea la=( i expected a farther one. lol..
Anyway,she is a very active and nice woman,just like my Tutor's mum. They are different from usual Japanese.. different in the way they think, clothes they wear, and their perspectives.

kimono!!!!!!!!!!!!!hehe

The next day was a fun day too. Left her house at 1030 am to Fuchuu.She is one of the tea servers in a Square Dance party. I bet you dont know about Square Dance. let me show u^^

wonder if you realized another impressive point in this video..haha
They are all old folks!!! 4 couples in a group dancing in an fixed way. the old folks were active,"Vigorous',spirited, and energetic. I couldnt believe my eyes that the Japanese old folks can be so active joining association and dancing club like this. And there are old men performing band up on the stage! wow.. their spirit had encouraged me,that i should be more active and confident.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Square_dance
I could see old ladies dancing as if she were 20 years old, shaking their body and move swiftly around. They dance whenever there was music!! guess what! I even saw someone flirting !! lol!!!
Was wondering if there were dubious relationship among some of them,just like how the tenagers feel when they are in such group.lol.i think too much.haha
or one or two of them in love with each other instead of they have their spouses back in their homes.lol! think too much liao!

I helped my 'mom' to give away the luch boxes and drinks. then we left at noon to get the children to another activity in Bubaigawara.
I had the chance to visit the museum. It is autumn now.. leaves are in yellow,green,red, brown and gold.. feel like they are shining in the sky, dropping with the touch of the breeze.

we had our lunch at a stone table where the floor fulled with yellow dried leaves.also had a candy floss from her!! wow.. as if I went back to my childhood time again^^ haha. I forgot how it felt untill i put in into my mouth,the candy melted as i put it into my mouth..

saw a japanese traditional tatami house with long balconies and big garden n the museum too.
post office and city hall 100 yeas ago and a primary school too.
i like the place so much.

then we went back to the square dance party again. enjoyed watching the old folks dances.of course i joined their dance too,though i was damn clumsy and unskilled with the dance. haha..had gun though.

hmm.. was a tiring day but i had had fun!!!oh ya, i met Tj's host family too but she sent him home early this morning.. she was a nice lady too. she had once lived in Malaysia for 3 yeears and her Malay was good!! nice chatting with her^^

upset and upset and upset!!!!

2010-11-11T19:20:00.002+09:00

Now,I am very very unhappy...
Just Unhappy...

Something that you have been waiting for whole day or whole time
suddenly turned into into nothing,
being dumped,in this Thursday night,alone..

I was just trying to remedy our relationship,
but again,again and again..
ended up with failures,
because of such trivial promises that were broken .

I am not saying that I feel alone(although i do feel alone)
I supposed to be outing instead of typing out my feeling out here..
I hate this..
Hate that i feel alone,
hate that i am being left out
hate that the promise broke
hate this feeling overwhelming me!!!

give me back my Thursday!!!!

期待的红叶

2010-11-08T20:41:00.005+09:00

末夏，窗外的蝉鸣渐渐消失
凉爽的风把郁闷的夏天赶走，
迎接秋天。

十月了，绿叶依然在雨中汹涌晃摇
天气突冷，以为秋天不来了，冬天早到了。
心情也随着天气而低落，感伤。
盼望着上学路上的那棵大树染上橙红色

等不及东京的红叶，就去了长冈
无数的来电，几翻考虑，再加上斗嘴，
终于到了长冈
迎接我的是那张灿烂的笑容。

路途遥远，但是那相见的心情，
都是值得的
开心，是最好的形容词吧=)

难忘，幸福，美丽的秋天

happy anniversary ^^

2010-10-31T19:55:00.007+09:00

It was 2 years ago when the love sparked.
A pure and quiet relationship has made this lasted for so long.

I still love his loudness,his cheerfulness,his cuteness.
and his sudden surprises once in a while which I couldnt believe.
The days have been tough until recently,everything changed when he has changed.
Realized that it is easy to make me shed a tear or curve my lips.
Realized that I am so flexible and sensible that his emotion and words would change my day,
from cloudy to sunny ,or vice versa.

Long distance relationship,suits me better,I think.
where I have no regret that i did that decision which everyone asked me the reason.
We have our own space,
We dont quarel that often anymore,

We miss each other more than when we are together,

We appreciate more when we got the chance to be together,
We could know how much we miss each other ,
webcam once in a while....

experience special things.

also...Surprise that made the anniversary more meaningful and unforgettable..

I was watching movie with Lydia last nigt.1.28am,got a phone call from him so i went back to my room.and that was the time i saw the blue box packed tighly ,like it has been posted,on my table.
with a lot of question marks in my mind,I opened it as if I was opening someone's thing.haha..
persuaded by him, I just opened it..guess wat!!!!!! It was from him. He was in Nagaoka and I am in Tokyo.far far away,however, i got the biggest surprise ever since we are together.It was a present for our 2nd anniversary.. felt so touched and i didnt know whether to laugh or cry.. I ended up by laughing with warm and sourly eyes..
I was so touch!(i know my description is bad,u cant feel how much i felt,nvm.. haha,i am bad at words,forgive me!)
may be you would feel these are silly, but it means a lot to me...

(long sigh) it has been two years ka... wow.. i was shocked when i realized this.
wow... i cant believe I have had him by my side for 2 years.wow... just couldnt believe that I have made a long run relationship.wow. the time flies yeah..we are becoming adults..
though.. we still have a long way to go,together, supporting and understanding each others..

I love you....

Nescafe..why dud you do this to me?????

2010-10-25T02:41:00.002+09:00

It is 0241hrs now...I am still awake thanks to my lovely aromatic Nescafe....
Had a short shopping with lydia...then dinner with the sweet couple by having
McD...we tried the new german sausage chicken burger ..from 6pm..we chatted till
830pm..I really like to chat with sze yang...hmm..why???feel free and
Happy and I like to share my opinion with him..oso his opinion...
I was revising bio chem..found out tat I seldom fall asleep when I
Am with organic chem or bio...do I really like organic chem???but
There are so much things to remember which is my weakness !!

Argh..I shud sleep now...no mire nonsence!!!!
Heard ny stomach having band ,,signing off.. Nite!!!
(I shud delete this post when I'm back)lolx

fire drill in Tokyo Kosen^^

2010-10-07T22:55:00.002+09:00

Thursday is supposed to be the most idle day of a week.But,still, i have to wake up early like usual as we are not allowed to stay in hostel in the morning.So , reluctantly,woke up and went to school like usual. the morning was boring and I have no class after lunch time,still, i had to rush back to classroom for the fire drill..
No explanation needed in this part right?^^
...................skip skip...............................

Then 3pm,30min after the drill ended,i attended the presentation of 5year students on their researches,which I will be doing too after 2 years.Feel curious and worry about the challenges I have to deal with,i attended.I was the only 3rd year student there,and I couldnt understand their presentation at all, too professional.haha.. And it made me felt that it was not good for me to be there,I felt so small inside the hall, like a fool listening to the profession.XD.
I wonder how the students can go to that high level of research as we learn very basic thing in 3rd year, then a bit more detailed subject in 4th year.and once we enter 5th year, the research will be started. wah. tension la.....I am not sure i could deal with all these research,or presentation or experiments though.... god bless me. haha

I like to chat with Suba, just feel nice when talking to here, or I should say,listening to her story and opinions.I think i will miss her a lot after her graduation from this kosen=(..

better to be alone...

2010-10-04T19:23:00.002+09:00

I can't explain how I feel now, I just want to get rid all the thoughts that occupying my mind these days.I want to be alone though I long for chatting and laughing..
I forgot how to laugh like I used to.Laughing like a crazy,with her mouth big opened.
I couldn't smile from the bottom of my heart.Even when i talk,there are a lot of evasions.

I have had a lot of friends and they complimented on my good relations with people around me,
they envied my caring and kindness to people.
BUT,they do not know the truth that I didn't do much on getting friends because
I don't like socializing, racking my brain to come out with a boring and meaningless conversation topic.All I did, until today,was follow.I don;t approach people to starts a conversation,somehow, i do have the chance getting new friends.Of course, not many.
And this has brought me into a struggling in myself.

I strongly believe that I should not get close and start liking,admiring someone. When i did, there always are problems occurred. Because the weakness of the person and myself get obvious from time to time.May be long term toleration isn't noted in my dictionary. I can put up with someone by keeping quiet, but there is a limit,and now, it is close to the red line..
I am controlling myself from making the situation worse by being reticent about my inner feeling.

I realized what kind of life i have been longing for.It is just a normal life a teenager will go through.I long for a free mind, a true friend,and someone who loves me. I am going through a normal life, I have 2 true friends,soul mates,and a man who loves me.A free mind,I need you.

dont say that I am being calculating in fact you are the one who is being calculating.
dont be so confidence with yourself if you are not sure about it.
I didnt know I did the wrong thing, nor wanted to do the things you complaint after I did it.because I dont know!
I didnt want to forget too, but i forget! what am I going to do?forgetting is not my intention!
The mind is piled up with exclamation marks which i wish to shout it out(it would be the best if the target is you!!)
dont wanna think about the relationships with the Japanese,dont wanna think about being proactive, dont wanna think about how to put up with someone who has helped me before.

How glad if I am being alone now, without you bothering me, or me bothering you.
How glad if only I could be cool like now but not hesitating nor worrying about it.

To you who knows what I mean:You do realized these dont you?even you dont, I hope that You will realized this one day. At least there is someone understand how I feel and stand by my side,telling me I wasnt wrong...

school again!

2010-09-28T18:15:00.003+09:00

two days since school started.
classes were boring as every lecturer came in and asked us about our holidays..
and whenever they asked, i felt annoyed. something strong and heavy emerged and made me uncomfortable.

but today's lesson was a it different from yesterday's
because they are new to me in this final semester..
Applied Physics and Quantum Theory... sounds hard huh.. is worrying about these subjects.
it was Applied Physics lesson had in this morning. the lecturer looks nice and he talks slow
He explained the syllabus into very very detailed..lets see how detailed he is .
He reminded us to bring some necessary materials in next coming lesson,so he wrote them down on the blackboard.
1.physics textbook
2.Applied Physics experiment booklet
3.Neopal Physics questions
4.pencils,erasers,calculators
Note that!!!
Who doesnt bring pencils and erasers to school!!
i nearly laughed out loud in the class..XD

After recess, i was sitting at my desk and my tutor was still, quite as we always be..
we both are quiet because we have no close friends.
I dont feel like chatting with the girls even though they are standing beside me.. just dont..
dont like to "ying chou"lol.
but in my tutor's case, she is different may be..
then i offered her to study together after classes so that she can fill up her task list which shows her work as a tutor guiding me. if not, she wont be receiving money.
soon after i said so, i regretted.. XD..
no more freedom for me and the main thing is, i have to face her every minutes other than my sleeping time.. help me...

Again, misery occupied my heart ...

meeting super sempai(seniors)!!!!!!!!

2010-09-26T01:15:00.005+09:00

She was the first senior,Lim Siew Ling that guided and told me bout PPKTJ back in KL..
Her mom's my parents' friend,and so we got help from her.
She is from Sungai Petani too.. and now doing master in Toyohashi unniversity of Technology..

we met in 吉祥寺(kichijyouji)..She was with another friend of hers,another senior of mine,named Lim Soo Sing.She is from Johor and she behaved like Xue Mey too. aha..

had a happy day with them.. we went to 農工大 to meet another SP senior from my kosen too,Jen Jen..
three of them are doing master ..wow.Master, never think of doing master.. haha..
They told me a lot about their studies and experiences.. nice to hear that but it made me worry and scare about the future..studying is not an easy task too..
hmm. gonna work harder... wish i could do that.
we visited Jen Jen's hostel but not her laboratory which i wished so much to see..
she is doing master in chemical field..
oh ya, we met Ben Foo at the station while waiting for Jen Jen.

原来

2010-09-25T04:42:00.002+09:00

他从马来西亚回来了。
一个人，一清早就去了机场。
昨夜的迟睡，两个小时的路程，
再加上在成田机场等了一刻小时多
好累，但是还是精神满满的。

等待的心情不特别，
但是当机程揭告板显示着KE703将抵达时
心跳加速，手掌是冒冷汗。
等呀等，半个小时过了，
看不见人影，电话却响了。
‘喂，你在哪'
‘在外面等着你咯，都一个小时了’
‘啊？真的啊？酱我现在赶出去'

什么嘛，他不是应该早就走出来吗？在里面慢吞什么？

等了再等，终于，黑色身影出现了。
又是那副搞怪的表情，
哈哈。^^

在上野的 Rock Cafe 吃了午餐（可算是午茶时间了）
他就匆匆忙忙的赶新干线，说再见了。
还不想回宿舍，
一个人，逛了上野几圈，才搭车回去。

半夜一点多，通电话。
说出了我心里觉得存在的问题。
结果，是我意想不到的僵硬与泪水

原来我说的那些话，伤害了他。
原来我看不见他的努力与付出，
原来他不是我想像中的吊儿郎当，
原来我还不懂他对我的心意，
原来我误解了他，
原来我并不细心，
原来我并不了解内心的他
原来我不是自以为的成熟。

3个小时的沉默，疑惑，沉思，泪水，
换来的是觉悟。

打开你的心。。。

想太多

2010-09-23T17:22:00.003+09:00

想太多，这三个字眼
曾经是最不喜欢的字眼。
使失落的她变得更失落。
使她坚信的事情动摇
也燃起了对自己的责备与责问。
虽然不认为自己的’想太多'是真的想太多。

想太多，是因为敏感，介意，和害怕。
受伤害的不止是自己，
也牵连了身边的朋友。
然后再进一步让自己伤得更深。

但是，想太多，有时候也不见得是坏事
因为这种心情，
让人变得更细腻
为单调的生活加上旋律

偶尔无病呻吟的拜访，
是视是风平浪静的感情背后的空虚
一一揭开
更是麻木心情的调味料

当想得累了，
问号不见了。
不是消失，而是藏起来了。
就算浮现，也很快被主人赶走，
因为主人，在逃避。。

是在逃避吗？还是应该说放弃？
是放弃吗？还是不曾真正拿？
她，又再想太多了。。。=）

tired larrrr...

2010-09-19T01:12:00.003+09:00

after non stop trip to toyama, saitama and kichijioji,tired and exhausted..not wanting to do anything including writing blog that i wanted to tell so much during my trip. i took a lot of pictures. jotted down name of places i went.. but i didnt mention alot in my blog.. because i am tired!

After 5months since i came to Japan, i feel that i have changed.
i don't feel like talking to others.
i just need more time and space for myself..
i can stay in my hostel for weeks,without talking to people around me..
or i should say i don't want to talk because it is tiresome.
i hate myself to have thought like that. but the feeling just fill my heart without control.

Too bossy and determine in what she feel and think. I know i am forgetful , i cant remember a lot of things, but it doesn't mean that i want to.. i couldn't make myself remember those trivial matters..
so, I kept quite whenever argue seemed to occur..
keep quite like my father always response to my mum..

May be it is this thought that made me refuse to go Disneysea tomorrow with the girls.
i found myself couldnt associate with the others.I hate to be hypocrite.To keep smiling to the person i dOnt like..although I do when have to..

webcam with my dad through skype. and turned out to witness their squabbling.
mom was so angry that she misunderstood that dad was complaining about her to me.
So mom rose up her high pitch voice, yelling at dad.. Dad just kept quite after his explaination didnt work..

The affection and communication between us got stronger recently where we talk and missing each other more often than before..
he made our relationship public which surprised me when i was on my way back from Saitama..
couldnt control the feeling that caused my lips to curve upwards..
although it is just a trivial matter, but i meant a lot to me as he was Him.. Mr Quah that would not do such thing in public.. ^^

second day-kurobe dam

2010-09-17T22:41:00.005+09:00

the destination was 黒部ダム(kurobe water dam) but we went from Tateyama,toyama to NAgano.. we crossed the mountain range which is 2500m above the sea level..

i enjoyed the view from the bus to the height of 2000m..where i could see the mountain of Japan.it was very different from Malaysia's forest. no trees but grasses and tiny flowers...
the whole journey from tateyama o kurobe was by transportation such as cable car, buses, and rope way cable car provided...no personal transportation was allowed...and the worst thing was that the fare was damn expensive..it cost 2000yen++ for the one way ticket for each transportation. As i mentioned just now, it needed not only one , but 5 or 6 stops to change our transport..

with my girl classmates..

all the girls

tateyama station, our starting point!

cable car... very steep larrr

i was standing at the most behind,could see the view while the cable car went upper and upper

the view from cable car.leaves are turning red on the top of the mountain. it is gonna be autumn huh?^^

reached bijyodara by cable car. from here, we changed to bus to the height of 2000m..

bus platform..the bus station attendant was fierce.i ws searching for places on the bus(iiws the last one got on the bus)and the uncle forced me to sit down on the place i didnt want to ,beside my lecturer!!!!!!!!!!!!

the bus stopped at 1260m height and let us see the 96m water fall...

and then we reached Tateyama which is 2350m high at 10.30am.. we spent 3 hours at this stop to enjoy the scene ..the view was awesomely beautiful! here you go the pictures of Tateyama views!!!

nice right!!!!!!!!!!!with the cool breeze blowing.. nice place to go...(but not a place for a walk!!!!!!!!!)

hehe

i like the lake behind me.. forgot the name.^^

the hot spring of sulphur they call it valley of hell.. lol

the yellow thing is sulphur

the cutest girl in my class.. ^^

this is not a place for walk, we climbed uncountable staircases..we sat down after almost every 10 steps... =(

guess how much was this.. 650 yen for 3 pieces of toasts!!!!!!!! walao.

stop here fisrt.. it is late here and i am tired after trips.. lol goodnite

研修旅行induction trip(?) first day

2010-09-17T20:16:00.000+09:00

It was a class trip which the they call it 研修旅行.i searched dictionary for the word in English, and i found this:Induction..which means the process of introducing sb to a new job,skill, organization.. hmm.. I dont think this trip introduced me to a new job nor skill..
It was a 3D2N trip which is from 山梨(yamanashi)to 富山(toyama)and then to 長野（nagano)

so.... the first destination was Santory Factory in Yamanashi.. Santory is a famous beverage company in Japan.

the factory was surrounded by trees, which is environmental friendly wor....

suntory whiskey

various type of distiller

the products of years and awarded

written there. read it yourself^^

the barrels.. a lot huh

burning the barrel..to make the whiskey taste nicer

fermentation tub

suwa lake
then we left yamanashi,heading to toyama

view from the bus. nice. very differ to tokyo..

and then we reached the hotel..立山国際ホテル(tateyama international Hotel)

this uncle, the bus driver.He must be very tired driving all the way for hours,then when we reached,he had to take out and put in all our luggages. no one helped him, including me. lolXD

the hotel welcomed us by putting up the notice.. haha

the lobby. i like the wall art^^

was provided bath clothes(?) .we wore and went for dinner and hot spring^^
my brother said i look fat!!!!

walking to the dining hall with yukata

but the most impressive one was the food!! first time in my life, had this real japanese style cuisine!! nice and full!!

Life is Beauiful!

2010-09-12T22:25:00.002+09:00

was bored and it was when i saw Siang Thye's personal message of MSN which written: just watched deep impact and life is beautiful.
i was so shocked that i thought he read my blog which is privatized,only people i allowed can access to my blog..dup dap-ing,I asked siang Thye wat is deep impact and life is beautiful,meanwhile, i searched youtube immediately and that, only i knew, it is a movie.. hahahaha..paise lo

so i searched and founf this lovely song,life is beautiful... and put it into my profile. It is the first played song once u entered my blog page.. hehe.

thanks siang thye!!!!

Holiday means??

2010-09-12T18:48:00.003+09:00

It has been approximately a month my summer break started(Just realised this when i wrote this very first sentence^^)
Recalling my holidays
What i have done this month
1.A-week-Hokkaido trip
2.Started one out of two experiments.
3.Read half of "Anne Frank The Diary Of a Young Girl"
4.exercised(sometimes)
5.searched info for my "dream"
6.Shopping
7.Updated my blog,redecorated the layout
8.spent a lot..lol
9.had a glance at Analytical Chemistry books(1 out of 3)
10.went to yokohama.asakusa,and shinokubo

Failed mission
1.spent too much in Hokkaido
2.Experiments... hmm. Results only could be seen after it ends
3.do not realy understand what is going on to Anne and his hiding friends and family
4.still fat
5.gave up my dream, but i pleased myself on other way, with the support of my LOve
6.bought some clothes that i dont like anymore
7.NO FAILURE. like the songs a lot
8.
9.understood the content but experiments decide how much u understand it
10.couldnt find my movie!!!!

Hmm.. so it is my conclusion for this so called a-month-holiday..^^
tomorrow, am going to a school trip for three days in Toyama and Yamanashi Prefectures.
And then a visit to my Tutor's house ..^^

"old" friend

2010-09-10T00:31:00.002+09:00

Saw the notification on top of the Facebook webpage , and here started our chit chat From FAcebook to Skype.
He is flying to Bristol,Scotland tomorrow.
Time passed so fast as though he just told me he will leave.
He is leaving.. leaving Malaysia, leaving his family, leaving his friends and also, leaving his love.
I still can't believe there is love which last so long.
He loves this girl for years , with patience but not action. He should have done something before this, but, he didnt, and now it is too late to confess his love to her, as he dont want to be so selfish..

and there is another gurl who loves a guy for years too.. confessed but being rejected , instead, she is still waiting.
how love could be so wonderful.
it is nice to hear, but sad to feel..

this old friend is a nice friend to me. although we dont contact each other always, but the bonding is there, never will it break..

hope u do all fine in UK, be confidence, and may you find ur love...
Take care my friend....

party with my classmates.

2010-09-07T22:09:00.013+09:00

3C (third year chemical class) organised a party the Japanese call it 打ち上げparty which was to end the first semester studies off with a drinking party..
We had shabu-shabu(steamboat) at Hachiouji. there was 24 of us, which is half of the class members.

the shabu shabu(steamboat)with sesame sauce and vinegar ^^
I still can't catch up with their language. but Taira(the organizer of this party) said that i am already very good with their language as i can understand the lessons. he said even not all the Japanese undertand the lesson
is it true? well, it really pleased me as i have been worried about my language.As Subasni said,let it flows with time. haha.

allowed Junhao to view my blog. I was hesitating to open it publish to him,since my blog is so childish, grammatic errors everywhere,and not interesting as theirs.Hehe,, to Junhao,dont laugh reading this,^^

yesterday, went to Yokohama with Tian You,Keng Yaw and TJ to meet Iwahara sensei. can i skip this part? it was a long day.haha. lazy lar....

But it was very nice to meet iwahara sensei again and what i can say about yokohama is just "high luxury and beautiful" . Coastal area always a luxury place and Yokohama is one of the Japan's maritime port with Marine Tower as her highest tower.the nigth view from the ferris wheel was really gorgeous.I like the red brick building built by the coast.

Marine Tower's mark

Iwahara sensei asking about the sea bus ticket

view from the sea bus

a picture of us in the observation deck in Marine tower.

view from the sea bus we boarded

red bricks building. nice right.. hehe

landscape og yamashita park outside the marine park

shinokubo and asakusa

2010-09-07T13:46:00.013+09:00

The purpose we went out today is to fulfill our holidays by walking and seeing the places around Tokyo.So, today, we went to Shink okubo and Asakusa which is downtowns of TOkyo city...

Shinokubo is a place sells imported goods,and with that info from the Nepal Restaurant two days ago, i went to shin okubo with the hope of finding the latest Bollywood movie casted by Shah Rukh Khan, My Name is Khan.. saw the trailer and heard from my freind,Farhah that it is a nice movie.
but i couldnt find it. Had Korean dish as our lunch..

We occasionally heard people passed by speaking chinese.. chinese is everywhere now. then we saw Tesco for the first time in Japan.haha.
after 2 hours walking under the hot sun, we finally find a place with more people in the other side of the Shinokubo Station.. It was another Korea. every single shop along the street was all korean's. the korean restaurant,K-pop shops selling the latest hits korea songs, movie, artist and idols... their posters and photos are the most seen there, songs played .. a nice atmosphere of shopping for ur idol! haha

I found green beans here and even SaGu,, how happy! i can cook it once i feel like eating bean mung. hehe//

bought this in one of the korean shop for my sister, hope she likes it.
the next destination was Asakusa.one of the visiting spot in tokyo with its famous temple,kaminari door.雷门.it was a beautiful place full with Japanese's Buddhism stuff and their traditional arts.

tilik nasib for my self and it showed that i will have bad fortune.
the man i waiting for wont show up(didnt he?lol)
my request will not be granted(oh no!!)
the lost article is hard to find out(hmm, what would it be??)
stop buiding a houseand removal to others(luckily i am not a 5th year student)
stop starting a trip(i am going for a 3 days trip this week!!)
marrriage and employment are both bad(hehe, still a student!)

the paper i showing my luck is folded and i kont it on this rack, may be it will get rid of the luck or i could get blessing from God?? dont knw^^

the sky tree that is in construction will be the tallest tower in JApan which height 634m(get this info from Iwahara sensei ^)

my dinner in DOUTOR, had sausage as my dinner.. ^^
i online with my cellphone to chat with my dear,about something..
learnt something from him and i find it very meaningful

"dream, is not only what we want, dream is also one thing that we will do anything for it despite sacrifices. if just because something and u give up, that's not a dream....just something that u hope for"

yes, it is what dreams definite. Again,my dream is just a hope.

the above post was posted in tiring condition. lol

"Pardes"

2010-09-03T17:19:00.003+09:00

It is another Friday again since i called my family last week.
We skype only n Thursday night or Friday night as my parents are busy with their work in
Weng Heng ,their grocery shop from morning to night.Last night was special chat because I had been talking to my youngest brother instead of my parents or my sister.. Jia Liang always fled away after switching on the PC< sign in Skype and call me for my parents. BUT, last night, we had been talking and sharing videos through Skype and Facebook for 3 hours. How sweet it was. Felt warm and happy as Jia Liang always gain my jealousy on his treating my sister.. lol..
in the intervel, dad came to talked to me too, he said he purposely had Jia Liang to sit down in frnt of the PC and talk to me, so he waited outside, not coming into the room where the PC located.How nice my dad is.You have to say yes on this.. haha

Today, again, didnt spend time mon doing the piled up assignments.Instead, I watch my favorite Bollywood film named Pardes acted by the King of Bollywood, Shah Rukh Khan and the main heroin Mahima Chaudhary. ehehe.
This movie was produced for India's 50th Independence Day. The main song of the movie "Yeh Mera India" which means Long Live India(may be) hahaha.
I love most of Shah Rukh Khan's movie though i dont really watch all yet, but so far i have watch i love most of his movie, like "Kuch KucH" "Deewana" ... i couldnt find the one i saw years ago, when i was still a little girl. haha.. will find it out. lol.
Another Bollywood actor tat i fancy with is Amitabh Bachchan.
I like Bollywood movie because every single sentence they use, is a sermon,expression of love and of course, their culture.Indian culture.
Through Bollywood film, You will find that there is no other country like India, a very special land of culture and believes.
Wish i could go India regardless travelling or living.. hhe. ^^like my longing to travel Europe..^^

I went to the Kumari Indian Restaurant last nite with Yord, Tj and Komatsu.
and heard the songs played by the restaurant again,Tj helped me to ask the the workers where we could buy the DVD of the songs, and out of their kindness, they lend me the DVD,lol.. and bonus 2 Award record DVD, i coulnt undertand as there was no subtitles.Today, Tj and I am going to return the DVDs to them,hehe.. enjoyed my day watching the lovely Pardes.. ehhe..

it is just a sudden thought

2010-08-30T23:01:00.003+09:00

i was reading Anne Frank after chatting with my sister using skype..
And this thought popped into my mind in a sudden.

i remembered my day routine of writing diary years back, and i have stopped now.
i wanted to remember all the things happen in my life, as i am so forgetful,
i thought this blog could be my diary but it seems like impossible for me to post my every
thought here. may be i can write the days, but not all of my thoughts.

since I come back from hokkaido trip week ago, i have been spedng my time on going around tokyo, reading, online,and eat.lol. today, began our creative experiment gropu discussion in yokado,a mall near my hostel.
four of us,Narumi,Sayaka,Airi and myself are in one group..
this is the experiment we are going to do during this holiday--peel off facial mask. or i should say ,facial care liquid
i have been in japan for 4monh and their japanese language still a barrier for me to understand their jokes and points..leh, nvm. let it go with time.

had McD as my lunch, and dinner with Lydia, Sze yang and TJ at Jolly Pasta.
another day which i have wasted my time on internet and missing him.

summer holiday!!

2010-08-27T22:37:00.003+09:00

finally, it is holiday after 4 months of hectic life in Japan..
this is my first sumer holiday in Japan.. the weather is hot, hotter than Malaysia.
the highest temperature up to 38 degreein Tokyo and other area like Gunma has up to 39 degree..
the temperature is shocking hot..sweat keep flowing from hair to feet..
no rain for days. old folks dying from the hot..hmm///

summer break started 12th august which was a week before..i was busy with my report and some stuff for MSAJ.. hate that because i was busy though it was already holiday..
packing and shopping was in my schedule too..

i spent my first week of holiday in tokyo
went to tokyo tower with TJ,Subasni and Cliff , a friend i knew at the ASEAN fest.
it was a rainy day but we enjoyed our sight seeing a lot too..

two days after the tokyo tower sight seeing. i went to a place called Ueno(上野）with Subasni..
we chatted a lot, she is a good talker.. lol..

and then hokkaido trip with the chinese of my batch!! 1o days journey was tiring but i had wonderful and happy days there..
spending the days with my long-time-no-see friends..and especially fuwei.. haha..
the happiest day i have had lol....
hokkado trip ended on 25th .
i sent fuwei to narita airport on 26th . was so reluctant to see him go.miss him a lot..

looking at the plane he was in, feeling of upset filled my heart, tears rolling behind my eyes..

a pillow talk in skype***

2010-08-08T10:31:00.004+09:00

Yesterday was a special day for me.. had a bland mood after wake up at 8.30am in the morning,..

Facing the books or analysis chemistry ,and a pencil in my right hand..while the laptop is on,..

Spending hours eating sushi for breakfast and salad for my lunch..it was a nice day..Just nice.

Wasn't in the mood of doing revision,I went online to do my assignment.

But my assignment ended up by chatting online,as usual,hahah, in facebook with Ben Foo,Feng Qi,Ka Yong and my cousin!!

Spent hours there…haiz.. guilty..

When I was listening to song sent by Feng qi, my phone rang, it was from my beloved..

Was enjoying the song, so wanted to share with him.. but,I was scolded..lol..for not being study since Friday to saturday.

Will be having last paper on Monday..

Hmm, was being scolded but I was happy. He seldom scold me with that serious tone..

Though it was scary, but I love it. It showed his concern..

I love him..

As the conversation ended,I said goodbye in facebook and banned my laptop for my revision.

Went back to my books,and the first thing appeared in my mind was fu wei,hate that he influence me so much.. ish

Studied from 6pm to 10.30pm.. working so hard and willingly..hahaha

Remembering my promise to chat with my sister in skype,so went online again..

She was there in skype!haha.. our purpose at first was searching for clothes in online shopping,sharing things we bought online..

How fun.. it was nice.. we chatted a lot. And then,topic changed to different one.

I confided my dreams, my problems to her. She always a good motivator,for me.. she always acts like a big sister as she is.

The support,the motivation..

She is cute and lovely..

Confidence ,always the obstacle for me to move forward, to achieve my dream.

Exaggerated hesitation and consideration again
another stumbling block for me to step forward..

I couldn't find any reasons for me to convince myself that I could do that,

But my sister gave me the determination to try,at least I try ,
.yea,trying is a big step to cross.

She said, everyone has his or her own talent, being known or not being known.

It is in yourself.. believe yourselves..

She said mom and dad are always the biggest supporter,

They agree with my dreams and let me go, separated far away from them,

Though the feeling of of reluctant and missing is so strong.

I was touched to hear this, but also,I felt myself being selfish,

I didn't think for them, not missing them.. I would not say I don't miss them at all,it is just that the feeling to go home ,

To be together with my family isn't that strong..

I prefer to be out,having my own journey of life..

Though I am don't have the ability to come this far without them…..

I am 20 years old this year,in a few months, I will be 21,and within 10 years,my life will be totally changed,

I want to knw how my future would my,, how my family's future would be…

But sometimes, I am aware to think about that,,

I am not matured enough,though I have turned 20.

A lot of dreams,things that I wanna achieve and experience.

Everybody feels the same way….

I think a lot by myself,and I didn't tell anyone,including my parents and fu wei.and my best friends.

do not know the reason,but I think the biggest reason is the confidence ,perhaps.

****************************

it will become a very long post I f I keep on writing my thoughts.

Anyway, The main point was this↓↓↓↓

I found this post in my facebook wall.

I was shocked and the heart warmed..sister is a 100% home lover…she gets touched and sensitive about family

But she doesn't express her own feeling only after I come to Japan.

And fuwei, this is the most shocking one..he sent me the wall post.. lol.. how sweet.. haha/ happy!

Hmm.. today,another new day, gonna study,fulfilling my time.. hehehe.. ^^

Happy happy happy!!

week before final exam

2010-08-01T21:51:00.005+09:00

one week before the final exam, i was trying to get myself to do my revision..
and the week was a looooonnnnnggggg week.. even the weekend that wanted it be longer all the time was really long.. i studied and studied and studied..
but of course, other than studdy,i went to hanabi (fireworks viewing) too!! two days before exam which is the last day of July, i went for fireworks viwing with sze yang, Lydia,tj and one Laos student,yord..
i bought a yukata,pink colour with rabbits on the clothes.. i think it is nice, but too cute already. gonna bu another one next year..my yukata.. i am wonder why i bought pink one. lol... surprising

being invited by sempai to another hanabi at tokyo bay, and as thinking to wear my yukata there.. hehe. but heard from tj that the hanabi has been canceled.. haiz..
see how then..

tomorrow ,exam.. and now, i feel like getting sick
was outing whole day,, went to mall near my hostel with Yord, studying from 10am to 4pm..had this as my breakfast.. hehe..

and one of my tokyo kosen senior,(foreign student from indonesia. was tokyo kosen's student)visited us.. we talked and had some kyoto's famous food.. it wasnt food. forgot what it called..is thing like kuih in malaysia.. may be feng qi still remember the kuih i liked to eat sold at the bedong kuih stall.. haha...the white thing with peanut inti.. lol.. my eglish..it is okay if u dun understand wat i am writing. because i dont know wat i am writing too... hahah..

and this.. taa daa.. japanese smarties.. haha.. meiji chocolate is a popular chocolate in japan u can see it everywhere. tasty!!
href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_XaVvMKuCoXY/TFY4YG2_PmI/AAAAAAAAAGQ/u_6Gv96HpoY/s1600/100801_175834.jpg">

wish me good luck!! and healthy.. lol

malaysian!

2010-07-19T18:13:00.002+09:00

It was a Saturday,where I would have my day with revision. But today, I attended Summer Gathering organized by Ben Foo,the president of MSAJ Kantou Division.
So the day started as I woke up at 9.50am which I had planned to wake up at 6am to do some revision.. But like usual, I overslept..not the first time for me though..
Departed from hazama station,went to komaba to get my cellphone charger which I have left there with Irma,the indonesian girl I met during the Asean Festival.. Asked Suzana to wait for us and go to the Staff Apartment in shibuya,which the summer gathering held..
we were late, and lost during the journey..
we were supposed to reach there at 1pm, instead, we were late for almost 45mins..
met 20 over people there.. All Malaysians..
the event was quite fun,not in the sense of fun of the event, but enjoyed talking and knowing them..
I got to know cliff, fahmi from yokohama university, adaham the president of KUJ,salam,IBT student (was the Penghulu during the BTN we went to last year),and lots of them..
after the event, we walked form the apartment to ikebukuro station. 20mins walking under the hot weather, just to save 160yen.. Everybody was sweating but we talked to each other all along the journey.
Talked to tian you ,quite a lot. And then know another new friend,Zen.. We met during the Asean Festival but we didn’t talk.. We talked a lot about him. He came here under FAMO scholarship(father and mother) and is working in a resturant in ginza. The cost of meals is expensive, according to him, it cost 6000-7000yen per dish,which is equal to RM300 per dish.. Cannot imagine what they eat..

finally, we reached ikebukuro and had our dinner in a malaysian restaurant named MALYCHAN

It was a lovely night having malaysian food with malaysians..

机会

2010-07-17T16:21:00.001+09:00

机会本来在你眼前，但是因为没有勇气，
机会当然不留人，几分钟内，失去了。

但是，就是因为这一个“但是”
事情有好，也有坏。

本来已经失去的机会，因为他的宽然，
我得到我已失去的机会。
这是我感到很庆幸的事。

但是，因为这是“重得的机会”，
变成了一个负担，一个责任，一个内疚,一个让我有了压力的事。

负担，是因为我有了责任
责任是因为我必须把责任作的更好（这是我犹豫的一点）
内就是因为我忘恩，
压力是因为我在乎被人的看法。。

我忘恩了吗？
没错，我有时候是不想面对你，那是我的不好。
有时候候又不想每件事情都有你的存在我才有勇气去做，
也有时候是我不想让你看到我的缺点（虽然被看透了）
想让自己更有面对自己的事情的勇气，去决定而不逃避。
毕竟，是我自己的事，自己该决定，面对的事。。

问了他对他自己会有怎样的要求，因为我觉得自己有很多很多要求，要达到的。
他说，做好现在的本分，是最实际。
我却觉得，不是那方面的要求，而是对自己能做到，和想做的事。
我很想知道。。。

an hour talk

2010-07-14T22:00:00.003+09:00

had my class as usual,with the hardly opened eyes and heavy head...
inorganic chemistry lesson was quite fun today as we learnt about the ceramics and fractures..
until then, i thought the things we can see,touch and feel are in 1,2 and 3 dimensions... But instead, it is not just 1,2,and 3... we learnt that things can come with decimal figures even less than 1D.. It was surprising..^^
finished my morning class until 10.30am and went to restroom beside library as we are not allowed to go baack to hostel before noon time. met sze yang and mardi there.. and again. me and sze yang chatted again, for 1 and a half hour..hmm..i would like to keep it as a secret ^^.. but it is really nice to talk to sze yang..
i have no idea on the creativity experiments which have to be started in august and september, the summer holiday.. no idea!!! we have come out with some ideas like making a soap , adding substances into soap. but was rejected by our supervisor.
so each of us have to come out wit 3 ideas. i have been sticking my eyes on the laptop screen.. eyes become heavier and pain..gambatte

two emotional girls....

2010-07-12T20:09:00.001+09:00

as usual, i woke up late on monday again.. haha..
rush into the bathroom, then rush to the kitchen then go to school...
again. like usual, teachers always late...Japanese not so punctual too... ^^

my days started with easy maths class but then continued with the experiments which i worry the most, and dislike the most,,
today, we did the catalyze of acetanilide.. haiz.. heating up the substances for more than one hours, and didn't know how much water we should add in. and completed with guessing.. and it was the problem occurred. we both didn't know how to and worried about failing experiments again since we had failed many times before.. and here, this two girls were in bad mood. the little girl ,as usua, ordering people with the annoying japanese desu-masu tenses.. as if the words brought high amplitude with hurt my ears and my mind.. and this tall girl started to feel annoyed and keeping here mouth shut throughout the experiments.
And,small conflict happened when two of us have different idea and thoughts on the experiments.we asked the labarotory assistant , and she sounded like i was the one who made things complicated.. okay! I misundertood because i didn't make the procedures clear before the experiments.. but could u stop using desu masu tenses or the requesting tenses?? arghhh..

It was geram-ing, but things changed to normal again when our experiment succeeded!! the catalyst turned out shinning like slices of diamonds filling the water.. so pure it made our dissatisfaction gone and we calmed down, smiling to each other again..
and i did talk to her, asking her not to use desu masu tenses..
may be u will feel strange why i dun like her to use desu masu tenses.. because it makes me feellike we have a very huge gap between us...
so that is for the story when two emotional girls working together..^^
3pm,an hour before my next class, i went to shopping centre near my hostel, ito yokado and within 40min,i spent 4000yen(Rm150)for a bag , normal beg...=.=''
school for today ended. went for a walk .. it was a hot day.. like Malaysia.. ^^
finished blogging, now report!!

无能为力，还是不够坚决？

2010-07-09T23:07:00.002+09:00

脑袋装满了很多对自己不满的事。

不喜欢自己没有主见，不喜欢自己没有目标，
不喜欢自己没有长处，不喜欢自己那么情绪化，
不喜欢花心思去讨好别人，不喜欢自己那么在意别人对自己的看法，
不喜欢自己没有努力去珍惜机会，不喜欢自己没有本事，
不喜欢被人说没自信，
更不喜欢现在因为书写能力差所以想表达却表达不出的感觉

自从有了想法以来，有很多事情，不是因为自己心里想做，而想做，
反而是因为看见别人比自己好，而想去做。
很多时候，想想自己对生活，对自己的要求，才发现，原来，我不是因为自己想要，而是因为羡慕别人，
觉得自己也应该能做到。所以很多事情，都不能坚持到最后，不能复出我１００分的努力。

今天谈起了英语。英语，算了。
不写了，写报告书更实际。晚安。

failed my experiments .. for the n times.

2010-07-07T01:39:00.001+09:00

it is 1.40am,i just piled up my books and papers on the left side of my desk, and got my laptop in front of me...
streema music is playing, the fan is moving on top of my head
feeling dizzy, throat is soring..

heard that someone had been admitted to hospital and i found out she was my senior,who gave me a book which helped me out on my studies. sze yang said she was acting very weird these days..
lydia is not around as she is now in Poland, representing Tokyo kosen in the Imagine Cup Competition.. she will come back this Saturday i guess..
have been having breakfast, lunch and dinner alone. didnt really met the Malaysians these days as we were busy.

i had my experiment on acetylation of aniline.. my tutor and i have been waiting for the heating progress for 2 hours, the crystal had come out with a nice shining pink substance, but the lecturer wanted us to dry the crystal with the drying machine as our crystal was still in humid..
so we put it into the machine ans went back after one hour.. and the result was, everything had gone.. the crystal was there anymore, instead of a thin layer unknown substances.. it was still fine with that, the worse thing was, we have to come out with a reason why this happend and a lot la!!hate this..

The mood goes up and down recently..i have exploded a few time in front of Tj as a result of couldnt stand up with the way he talked.. Tj, sorry for this, but i really have to say this.have told u that it would be better to talk usually instead of teasing people..
sorry that i didnt control my emotion well and u can blame me on this.i have used to this, as fu wei always got himself stressed up because of my fast changing emotion..=)
but still, you are good in some ways too(for mentioning me in ur blog.lol)enjoyed the moment exploring the inner side of hachioji, to the restaurant named GUSTO.which is far away from where we got down from the densha... (though it was another GUSTO just down the street from the station)

2010-07-06T01:43:00.002+09:00

these few days, he wasn't happy.. he sounded tired, unhappy and worried about a lot of things..
i understand his problem, but i couldnt cheer him up everytime he is down.. i feel down whenever he is down.my emotion is connected to his.
it is ot a good thing, instead it is annoying me.. i do not like the feeling of couldnt do anyhting but just listen to his whining and problems.. though he doesnt talk into detail, because he know , confiding isnt the solution..

i wish i could cheer him up, but i was lost, remained silence...
and the conversation ended up with silent...

this evening,received mail from narumi, my classmate, asking me to go for dinner..
i joined though i had had my dinner..6 of us(narumi, airi, taira,tonosaki and kikuchi)went to a restaurant nearby.. it was fun though i coulnt understand everyhting..narumiwas trying hard to explain their conversation to me. she is such a nice girl..
enjoyed the dinner..

the joyous time always end very fast..
no one to share the happiness, so facebook become the replacement...

what i could do is just let u be alone, i know u will be ok soon...u always will

weekend..

2010-07-04T16:01:00.002+09:00

this i the most free weekend i have.. free.. free. free..
i planned to do my revision for next coming exam in august.. because i wouldnt have time for revision for these coming weeks until then..so i woke up late and sleep late too ..
it is rare for me to have the feeling and spirit and concentration to study. and i got it yesterday.. i could, but i ended up using the time for the hokkaido trip preparation.. haiz..
its ok.. last nite, i talked to my family, for almost 2 hours.. ^^ happy. my dad is handsome like always and my mom is cute like always too..
jia dong , still as cheerful as he was..

but today, i totally lost the concentration on studies...
help!!

update

2010-06-28T02:03:00.002+09:00

didnt hav the time and mood blog these days as my days were fulled with activities and reports and self conflicts.
just stopped doing my report,leaving it undone.
19th june,prepared 4 the asean fest last minute frm 10am.4pm,went to komaba to help the decoration team up as they were doing it last minute too.me,tj and junhao hv been offered accommodation in komaba as our decoration work would take a long time.i stayed a night there in an indonesian named irma.she is a nice gurl and the thing that impressed me was her room!it was tidy and clean!the banner i have made with four japanese frends i have know on the day, and tj
20th june,the day had come.tj was the mc and i was just helping out on the hall setting,taking over the malaysia food booth,selling the nasi tomato,nasi ayam,roti jala,kuih and nasi lemak.i enjoyed sellimg as ppl kept coming to buy!hehe.
the main reason i was there,in the hall,bcz, i was one of the planner of sharing session.i wasnt worrying about the things we going to do,bt not until junhao asked me whether i had the confidence in making the session successful.i wasnt sure.finding the faci for my batu seremban session at the last minute,and everything was just like mess,rushed,ben foo,the president of msaj,asked me how was i going to handle the session,how to attract ppl to join the session.and i just realised that we didnt look into more detail.couldnt blame tj bcz he was in charged on being the mc.so i was the one to be blamed.i felt bad as calvin,junhao,faizal and some seniours frm uni heard the conversation btwn me and ben foo.he was expecting me to go to the stage and talk,bt i just didnt.felt bad.the results was,ben and tj handled the situation and i was just demonstrate the batu seremban on the stage with suzana,keng yaw and another malay gurl.haiz.
the asean fest have led me to get to knw 4 japanese.and of coz a lot of malaysian.especially suzana!the most pleased one.

the one week after that, we had a factory visiting on thursday. we went to a steel manufacturing factory, which is very famous in japan,The Nippon Steel..it was in Chiba prefecture which is 1.30hrs from my kosen..the journey was long but i enjoyed the scenery of Tokyo city from ,viewing from the highway, the city was aligning with the coast of Japan sea..skycrapers along the sea coast, its a total difference in the sense of feeling..
the factory was big!! as if it could locate 4 tesco mall's inside..
about the content, wont talk much about it, since i am sort of time for my reports!lol!
first time in my life time visiting a factory and it was a huge and prestigious factory ..
it amazed me that i wondered how rich is the owner of the factory.. hmm.. i wish i were rich like him..==

realised that i didnt call my family for 2 weeks ..
i have been busy.. sorry!!!mum and dad!

27th june 2010, was the day i attended the MSAJ(malaysian students association in Japan) for the first time, and i was attending as a vice secretary.. i was nervous actually, but tried to control before hand. met some of my sempais there.. the meeting ws quit boring , not untill Ben Foo, the president scolded one of the head of bureaus, and he took me and Tj as the bad exmale. He said that we didnt look and lan into detail for the shaing session for the ASEAN Festival..
OKAY< fine,!if u wannted to scold us or show off or whatever, its fine!i knw i was wrong! but was it neccessary for u to mention about it in front of all the members of MSAJ,..?? gosh..nevermind, let it be. wont care so much..
after the meeting, was the happiest time for the hectic week. i dated Suzana, the malay gurl i knw during the ASEAN Festival.we went to shinjuku , shopping!! first destination, Forever 21.. hehe.. it was n sale everywhere since it is the chnging of season.(spring to summer)
i bought myself a blue strips singlet , a pair of sandals and a necklace !!! hehe... not satisfied with the shopping actually.
went for luch at 4pm in McDonald's with suzana. we talked a lot. i like her vey much, she is pretty, cute, joyous and the most impressing one was her laugh and her smile.. i like it..
with suzana!

monday,(yesterday) come back to the normal life which i have to face te reports and the boring classes again.. the routine is just the same for everyday. study, eat, do reports, sleep. the study then reports. them eat then sleep.. lol.. boring la...
went for my teacher to ask question on subsject that i dont really understand. the teacher was too kind and friendly. i eneded up chatting with her for 45 minutes in her office. she treated me a haagenz ice cream! oishikatta! hee..she told me a lot of things about her experiences travelling around america ..so envy! i want to go backpack travel!

haiz.. its all for today's update la.. have to start off my reports!! ja ne!! goodnite guys1

it was weekend!

2010-06-14T01:10:00.001+09:00

didnt really had a rest after the non-stopped reports and studies.finally,the days for me to take a break and breathe come.enjoyed my friday nite going shopping,not to buy clothes(though i wanted so eagerly)and bought a body shaping exercise equipment cost 14700yen.which is,let me count,around rm500.i shared it with my senior lydia.both of us was shy to make an order with the shop assistant.and tj helped us!haha.we even asked him to order under his name!could u imagine a man buying that?tj,thanks!haha.but i think the shop assistant have known that who really need that thing.haha.dont look at me.i am shy.lolz.friday nite,planned to sleep earlier.but my brain and biological clock is has out of balance.i am super active after 1am,whithout coffee.hmm.
so.i ended up sleeping at 3.30am and woke up at 12pm.hehehe,started to hate morning especially weekend's.
so.saturday.12pm,woke up.faintly remember the wheather was like malaysia.2pm,went to family mart to buy skype credit for lydia,angela and myself!hehe.so stupid,first time bought credit using the machine and i took longer time,which postponed my meeting with tj at 2.30pm.my lunch was hotto motto boxlunch.not very nice,
was discussing about the asean fest prepartion.called krish and azmeer for idea on malaysia games which dont need any sources.and krish gave me the best one!haha.it was ting ting,he called it.wat ting ting？like a little chinese gurl's name maaaaa!watever,,haha.to knw the game's rules,i called krish continuesly in an hour.krish's level of bein patience was high!haha.so happy to hav him as frend!
me and tj,who wil hav to explain and demo the game on that day,practiced beside our kosen's field.we drew the boxes on the floor.and jumping over.haha.like children.
sunday,had meeting with other countries representatives for the asean fest,and i woke up late as i slept at 4!wore like a kampung gurl.walao!the meeting went smoothly.hehe.bought myself a knowledgeable magazine,NEWTON.hehe

2010-06-10T02:31:00.000+09:00

Failed in exam after hard worked was 1st time in my life.i got my results of linear algebra and inorganice chem.i failed !i was so upset and disappointed with myself.why the others could do better than me asthey r younger than me.?i am 20 and they are 17.oh shit!i was really depressed.couldnt control my tears filling up my eyes.it feels no good.i hate that feeling,was really really sad.

luckily.i have had him listening to me,by my side.on the other end of the phone,his gentle,his patient,his advice,his love ,released the sadness.i felt not better but never better than this.thanks for being supportive.

幸福的

2010-06-07T02:57:00.000+09:00

i like the way he treats me now.not the way he acted like before.what made the changes happened?i dont know,and it isnt important.
i love to get his call,i love to hear his voice,
i love to talk to him.
he listened to me,shared with me,and these are releasing my stress.making me a happy person.
i love him

no title...

2010-06-05T18:08:00.006+09:00

today is saturday. yesterday was friday. tomorrow will be sunday, the day after tomorrow is monday..then tuesday, wedsnesday, thursday.. we learnt and memorised the names of days when we were a child, when we had just started to learn about words..without noticing how the days that we had been saying naively when we were a child would mean so much to a grown up us..
the 7 words means time,people, things and our hearts..

it will be the last day for my exam this monday..and the papers we will have would be most terrible for me.
because i havent started anything yet..
not in the mood of studying, because i am tired,
i have a cup of coffee...
eyes are opened, but the brain is shutting down slowly,
cannot think, cant focus, cant sleep.....
so, i'd just write this blog and take a nap.. charging up myself, then start my revision..
so, why dont just begin with the day i have been gone through today?

staying awake until 3am last night, thought to fnished up my organic experiment report .
but ended up with watching cartoon and online..but i had a call from fuwei.. hehehe.. happy!
woke up at 7.20am,got myself ready to go to centre of the tokyo city..
bought a bentou with tj, then rushed to the station nearest to my college,hazama station,.
because the time was limited, we had our breakfast at the station. i felt a lot of weird eyes looking at us, eating our food..
oh gosh, never seen people eating at the platform?/ ma be they really dont do this..hah
the journey took one and a half hour,from hazama to yuuraku machi station..
yuuraku machi, a place beside Ginza,the high standard place in japan..

it was really different form other parts of japan.. just like pavllion in kl compared to sg wang..
u can see the total different between these places..

our destination was emperial hotel tokyo branch..
it was the most beautiful place i have seen ever.. really nice,, elegant and luxury..

as we have already known , malaysian is famous in being late..
hmm,, it is a fact. even me and tj ourselves have been late for 10minutes..
but the thing was, we were the earliest among the students.. haiz.. see that? they were late for 30minutes!!
embberessing moment was, we didnt wear like attending semi formal wear, lol. ben foo mentioned that the wearing should be casual but smart. but we interpreted wrongly, me and tj wore jeans .. no face
we met the menteri kemajuan dan perkembangan(forgot his name, wil update with this later) and dato bakar, (update later)
he main purpose of the meeting with the menteri was to get discuss about our country's development informally.he started by giving a briefing( a loooooonnnngggg briefing) about malaysia government's plans and newest plan in altering malaysia's ecnomic develpoment.
i have been outdated with malayisa's news la.. haiyo..
lazy to tell about the details..
we had out lunch ,delicious...!!

bla bla bla bla...

we left the hotel after taking a few pictures of the hotel.
was enjoying the place all the way walking towards the railway station..
really high class la. u could see almost every shop are selling branded things.. armani collection, gap, lacoste... etc..
people walking around the area are wearing differently..old lady wears kimono, old man wears like golfer, and office man,.young man and lady wear in their own style, or wearing like western style.. children wear like a angel..

was wondering, why there are people who are sooooo rich and why there are people who are soooo poooorr??
why?? why? why??
i want to be rich!!lol..

it has been a tiring day. reached hostel at 4pm. took bath and wasting time..
gonna stay awake tonight.. but now, will take a nap first!!
update soon!

kumari talk...

2010-06-05T00:45:00.003+09:00

went to mejiroudai.. and had dinner in an idian restaurant called kumari.
its a restaurant run by nepalese...
was expecting the curry tasted very very nice,tasted like the curry cooked by my neighbour,
but it disappointed me.. hmm.. not saying that the cruisine wasnt nice, but it wasnt as tasty as i expected.
however, the dinner was a happy and satisfied one was, we chatted for 2 hours.. about personalities, about people, about life..
talked about the graph of my life, about gurls and guys..puberty.. hahaha..

i am lucky that i got to know them,, i like to talk to them, especially sze yang,
he can read people's mind..
i like to share my feeling with lydia, she mrelease my pressure..
i have no regrets coming to tokyo kosen although the life here is busy..
because i have known sze yang, lydia and tj more,,
and i got the opportunities,the chances..

my life, if interpreted in graph, it is a porportional graph..
life is going better by chances that i got,.
i entered ibrahim school instead of smk bedong,
i got jpa scholarships,
i came to japan,
i got the chances from others to join the bureau of msaj,
i got the chance to meet people because i stayiing in tokyo area..

all are by chances, and i am lucky..
lucky that i have come this far,
lucky...

appreciate life,,..

mood...

2010-06-04T12:21:00.005+09:00

i found myself to be more happy lately..
everything comes peacefully, without knowing,it went silently..
i feel the heart is less of burden,
the brain is light..

but today,i am not happy.. may be because i am tired..
and the day i gone through today..
tiring and boring...

fridayy!!!!

2010-06-04T11:57:00.002+09:00

its friday!! the starting day of the weekend! but this weekend will be different as usual,,or i should say, it will be more busy than usual day..
next monday will be the organic and inorganic papers.. oh no, i haven't studied anyhting and just want to start in during this weekend.. the good news is !!!!!!!there is no meeting on this sunday!!(received mail from ben foo telling us to attend a meeting on 6th june,, )luckily,.haha
but still, i have a lot to revise....gonna be very very hardworking this weekend!! gambarre tang
chye sin!!!
didnt go to library today.. my tutor asked me to hand in our reports together and we walked back to hostel together. didnt want to lost the chance to talk and walking together like just now since we hav not been talking to each other from the day exam started..

.
last nite, had a call from him,, and we talked things that we dont talk usually..
happy!!!....the most impressing one was, he said:dont talk about others, tell me about you...^^

since there is no meeting, will go to mejirodai(a place)exploring the area around us!!!
will see how good is the place!! hehe

a hot day

2010-06-02T13:10:00.000+09:00

its stil noon time.had my lunch in hostel and went to library.a book in the library attracted me,日本の内閣。a bookthat introduce japan goverment organization.and their parliament house.they hav the highest majesty.called天皇.one of the good thing aboutthe library in kousen is that the books are new,and they would hav the whole series for every of them.
the Houses of parliament was like a palace!nice!cant share the picture here.
i had a look at an encyclopedia too.and guess what?it was children encyclopedia!the english level is quite low.suits me!haha!learnt about africa.swahili.anthony!its african language.every african can speak in swahili.and minimum 6 languages!
1pm.backed to hostel.wanted to revise.but sleepy! may be i should have a coffee for today too!hehehe.

...

2010-06-01T23:16:00.000+09:00

today had been another normal yet special day.normal but special..watdoes it mean?it was special..because it was the first day i sat for exam in japan.normal because i didnt feel anything.was boring during the exam.
i have not been talkingto my tutor since weekend.she,again acted cool.or she felt the same way towards me too?i shouldnt be so childish.

has been revising calculus.hmm,so far.not bad.i am actually worrying abt my chemistry.its on next week!gambare!
had dinner at jolly pasta with tj.
dessert@@
tj read my blog.he didnt angry with me.he said he dont care about these.which hating people makes himself unhappy instead of others.so.it is unworthy.
found myself being sensitive again..

after self study.met subasni,she told me that i am confirmed as her vice secretary.and there are tasks waiting for us right ahead.drafting cert .and asean festival report to post into msaj website.argh.is worrying about my english level!

didnt buy coffee today.but made myself a glass of coffee using my couple glass!

shinchan's favourite!haha

revision

2010-06-01T18:00:00.000+09:00

finally,it has reached the exam day that i have been worried,matrix and calculus taken most of the time.i have no enough time for my chemistry for sure.
got tj's blog url today.and he asked 4 mine.in fact.i just bad mouthing him in the previous blog post,sorry tj!haha.
spent the day with revision.satisfied with it!
btw.tj looked tired,

oh ya.i nearly forgot abt my big discovery in my life!i found a snail.an alive snail in cabbage that i wanted to cook!oh.it is cute but disgusting!lydia told me that it's a slug,,そっか!slug looks like that!haha
the slug

coffee of the day-fire!!

2010-05-31T02:50:00.000+09:00

was so stress with my calculus,cried like a child again.broke out as lydia came into my roomit was coincident.so embarrasing!
tj kept smsing me.which i dun like bcz i felt my privacy is invaded.my mood turned bad when the thought things i have to do.called fuwei as i needed to hear his voice.which makes me calm when i am sad,(depends on his mood)he was unwrapping the presents he received the moment icalled.again.wrong timing,he called me back few minutes after that.i felt much much better.thanks fuwei!

fu wei's birthday!!

2010-05-30T17:22:00.000+09:00

today is his birthday ..
i bought a piece of cake, 3 love shaped candles and made a card for him..
but i couldnt share the cake with him.. it is in my refrigerator now..

he is having exam.. no time for him to celebrate birthday>??
2 days ago they , the nagaoka ian s went to a restaurant called chacha?? liek okonomiyaki.. (japanese style barbecue)
he had his time there for sure!!

happpy birthday to u quah fu wei!!lovEe~~~~

days with nescafe

2010-05-30T16:43:00.000+09:00

since the first month i come to japan, my days are all about COFFEE!!!
no coffee, no energy=sleepy!!!

days are longer than night... coffee is the healer for my sleepless day.

one of the coffee i ma drinking everyday here.. gotta upload every can of my drunk cooffee cans.. hehe.. can become a collection.. lol.. have u heard of people collecting coffee cans?
hmm.. two days to go.. there will be my first exam studying in japan.. i hate this, we have no time for revision before the exam and they expect us to get good results/.. how could it possible?? anyway, there are some one who could.. like my tutor.. she is brilliant! but a bit cool.. haiz..

today is a cold day. below 20degree celceius ..
rainy day,,,
i was in the good mood studying, but the 線形代数just made me become stress!! it is !!!terible with all the kira kira

foreign students and tutors's guidance

2010-05-27T16:03:00.000+09:00

it was another rainy day today... the weather is cool , and feels good..
had a 2 1/2hour nap yesterday, i didn't sleep in class!! big applause for me!! haha
analysis chemistry and organic chemistry classes werent that difficult if u listen and focus in class..
lol.. regret that i slept almost in every class.it is exam next week!! too late!

my tutor became weird again today. a bit moody..
we had an assembly in the gymnasium. listening to principal's speech on history of technology.
and it was BORING!!! no one was listening to him i could bet..
hmm.. there still someone perhaps.. as some of them rose their hands when principal asked questions..or they just simply rose their hands?? lol//

3pm, a meeting among tutors ,foreign students and two lectures was helg in the library..
they have their contracts signed and being told their responsibility being a tutor.
and the man thing is, they get paid!!! lol.. i also want to be tutor!!

another tiring day...

satisfied!!!

2010-05-26T01:02:00.000+09:00

another satisfied day!!!
i woke up at 8.04am and nearly late for the tenkou.. so bad..
ate quater of pancake made that day..and rushed for the tenkou..
left the hostel, and walked slowly towards the classroom...
it was 8.30am, and thought of fu wei,.didnt call, he was supposed to be
having class already, i thought...

first period was oral communication by mr henscheid in 5201room.. but it was too early
and the classroom was stil locked.

inorganic experiments classes has ended last week, so we are free for these few periods. i went back to hostel and spent the half day on my rereport..
drawn a satisfiying picture of electrolysis...!!

wao, satisfied with the pic. haha..
then, went to the boring culture class,listening to boring things. fell asleep..==

these few days, get well with tj.. we talked a lot when we meet each other.. but i feel uneasy when he calls me, or asks me something privacy..
hmm..
he is a nice guy anyway..
we went to the nearest shopping mall called ito youkado , for our dinner..
fulled.. tj said my belly became bigger.. wth!!

bought sewing set, i wanna learn sewing!!!! like tj said: do whatever u want to do!! just do it!!
i wanna learn handmade things... yahoo!!!
satisfied day for me, happy and without worries.
i hope my days will just like today...
chye sin!!! love urself!!

first step toward changes

2010-05-25T14:02:00.000+09:00

two weeks ago, jun hao mailed me a message, asking me to help him with the ASEAN Festival preparation.i hesitated.. from the bottom of my heart,i wanted to join such things so much,but desires were covered by my unconfident and coward..
i worried that i cant help much, i worry ro communicate with scholars from 10other asean countries in japan, i was afraid and worried so much about everything,trivial things..
but in the end, i did agreed to help him, i joined his bureau..
there was first meeting organised by jun hao at komaba house,on 23rd may 2010.
i went with tj..
things went wrong when subasni(secretarry of msaj kantou)offered a post of vice secretary.
jun hao didnt want AJK to help him in the festival and now i hav promised subasni to become her assistant.not serious conflict occured, but jun hao wantes us to think about that,tj has been offered another post of career and academic bureau.
tj said he will post the position.
my posting of vise assistant is in confirmation, but suba told me that it is almost confirmed that i will get the post..
this challenges is in front of me, coming to me soon..this is the time i could gain my experience and overcome my weakness. my confidence..
　i have taken the challenges to change myself under lydia's advises and encourage..she told me a lot. that i have been underestimated myself, being no confidence without trying, and no determination on my pint of view.. i knew that, i hav been a coward, afraid of changing , afraid of taking risks.and for years, i wanted to change but i didnt..now, there is the chance, for me.. for myself, to love myself, to be a better me...
gogogo chyesin!!!

saturday!!!

2010-05-22T14:12:00.000+09:00

the exam is near but i still have a lot of assignments to do. slept 3am this morning and woke up at 10am .day is long but i have been wasting the time fishing in front of my books, with pens on my hand.

11.30am, made lunch and pancake with lydia!!!

wow. fmaking pancake for the first time!!look nice huh?? hehe..

and it tasted nice also!! with butter cream and strawberry jam on top of it!!

i am missing him. i want to sms him ,but he doesnt like to sms.. hmm..what should i do?? how to get rid of my sleepiness?? i want to study!!!!

tomorrow, will be joining jun hao's bureau on the asean festival, and there is the 1st meeting of us tomorrow. yesterday was jia zi's birthday but we will celebrate for her tomorrow, going to harajuku!!! yahoo!! shopping!!!!

however, the forecast says that it gonna raining tomorrow.. haiyo!!

anyway, i am nervous about tomorrow's meeting, !!! who and what kind of people will i meet there?? hehe

a tiring and stressingweek..

2010-05-22T01:29:00.000+09:00

this week had been a hard week for me.. the assignments were given by the sensei as if we are very very free and as if we have a lot of time to do those freaking things.

just had two reports to redo, but the JUST is not just a JUST..it makes me stayed awake for days,

and the exam is on the corner. no time to sleep , no time to revise, no time to play, no time to go shopping, no time to do my favourite things..

yuri helped me a lot with my experiment c(electrolysis of NaCl).. she is joyous even the studies is stressful.. i did the report in her room , until 4am , lydia slept early that nite.

today, i slept in the classes.. too tired.. couldnt get my eyes open even for 10seconds,,

ended up with question marks with the lecture, and i left the class without saying bye to yuri..

mayuko was admitted into the hospital 3am this morning,because of appendix . how about her exam??

i skipped the jasmani class, slept ....

the night, we , foreign students in tokyo kosen had dinner together at sizeria italian restaurant.10 of us(job was absent)had a discussion about how we being treated by the japanese , and we were finding a solution for the problem..

the problem is that the japanese is looking at us foreign students in a small group compared to the japanese,, a little mistake done by one of us affected the whole group ..

suba wants us to cooperate and work as one group, do our responsibility and earn back their respects towards us..i gave no comments and i felt my existance a minor one.

i am depressed on my self ..the feeling of not being good enough as a student, a friend and a scholar,has been growing stronger and stronger.. found myself rely on people more than before and i still, mind how people judge me.. heard tj said that sze yang said i have no own perception , (tiada pendirian sendiri).. i mind how people judge me.. and i knw that a person cant be success if he or she minds how people think about him or her..

i starts to feel useless.. i told xinyi about this, she gave me a nice one. learn to love yourself

learning to love myself.. yea, i hav not been loving myself that much.. if i hav had loved myself much, i would hav think about my future, my dreams and what my heart really wants..

thing doesnt go smoothly these days.. feel unsafe with fu wei and me relationship..

开心

2010-05-14T19:11:00.000+09:00

2010 年5月10~14日

这一个星期，除了忙只能说忙。

因为报告，每天都是凌晨三点后才睡。

再加上两个星期后的中期考试的温习。就连温习都还没开始过。

这次糟了，真的糟了。

不能想象我的成绩会是怎样的。

不知道是不是已经习惯了这种生活，

我这几天都没有低落，没有压力。

我喜欢这样的我。

打给家人的时间不是没有，就是没有像到。

上星期六（母亲节的前夕）打了同电话给妈妈。

妈的声音，让我感觉到她很开心，但是却忍不住流眼泪。

我在电话的另一个尽头，笑妈妈别哭。

爸爸就很关心，问了很多很多，直安慰我在功课上，生活上的问题，

而有趣的是，我并没有诉苦的意思。

爸爸心里是很担心我，我懂。

他还说，需要的东西就别省，该买就买，

它可以寄钱给我。==

什么吗，我在这里想存钱回家，他在另一头说要寄钱给我，好可爱。

本来计划今年夏天回马，但是最后还是决定不会了。

到日本还没一年就回家，不太想哦

我。。

2010-05-08T02:49:00.000+09:00

重要，不重要。

什么事情对你而言，是重要的？什么又是不重要的？

2010年5月8日的凌晨，与lydia在宿舍二楼呆了一个晚上。

聊了一些关于人生的话题。

现在的我，在日本求学，是为了什么？

现在的我，一无是处。

现在的我，轻易放弃。

现在的我，不勇于尝试。

现在的我，优柔果断。

现在的我，不知足。

我不喜欢现在的我。

已经二十岁了，思想行动都不成熟。

脑袋里，心里，都有很多很多想学，想做的事情。

但是往往因为小小的不如意而放弃。

其实这并不是我刚想到的问题，

在长大过程中，我学会听，学会思考，但是就只空于想，

没有行动。我知道自己的缺点，要改，但是最大的缺点就是

不会因为要而去争取。

我没有试过去争取，更没有试过去努力。

非常羡慕那些有梦想，有目标的人。

就算他们没有达到自己设好的目标，

梦想还没城真，

但至少他们心里懂自己要的是什么。

在长大过程中，我有过梦，有过爱好，

但是因为没有坚持，被学业，爱情，朋友关系朦胧了眼睛，

让有过的梦，以忙为借口，随着岁月流逝、。。。

2010-04-17T14:40:00.000+09:00

The malaysia government is really really kind.it gave us money that is more than enough to get everthing we need , or we haveto buy.. me and tun jie, with the leading and helping of my sempais..(komatsu, zul, lydia nad sze yang)we hav got everthing done ..
The first day I reached hachioji,tokyo,we were wearing the jpa suits.. and the damn painful formal shoes .we walked for KMs .. and my toes were like almost break and no feeling… he had our important things done in a very fast way.. in one day, we have had our own bank account, registered as a foreinger in japan, made a chop (signature) bought the blanket, bed shet, most of the needed things la.
Second day in tokyo kosen… finally could go for shopping with lydia and sze yang(I hav been waiting for lydia for one whole day)oh my god,, I like my kosen!! It is so convinient as the nearest staion in just 3mins walking distance away … around the building of kosen there are a lot of restaurants and most of them are cheap and oishii!!!! But if counted in ringgit sure expensive lo…the most important one, is that there is one big shopping centre just right beside my hostel.. and the daiso(100yen shop) is judt located in front of my kosen!!! How convenient!! I one cold storage market, one cheep things market.. a lot la.. just shopping…
The first few days were kind of busy for us as we were buying the daily thingy like laundry bag,mirror,clock,pencil case(I bouhgt one for my sister too,mickey again.. haha)books,blankets…etc… nearest staion in just 3mins walking distance away from kosen. there are a lot of restaurants and most are selling cheap and oishii food!!!!! But if counted in ringgit sure expensive lo…the most important one, is that there is one big shopping centre just right beside my hostel.. and the daiso(100yen shop) is judt located in front of my kosen!!! How convenient!! I one cold storage market, one economical price shop..
3rd april.Saturday, we went for the hanami(sakura seeing). The sakura bloomed in a few days,, we went to yoyogi park,a famous park for hanami… crowded of ppl there , bringing along mates and food, radio, drinks.. likr partying in the beautiful park un der the pink sakura… most of the malaysian student had come that day.. it was a cold day..i met soon kie and xin yi ,subaiha,ahmad,yangherk, siang thye, they all..and sempai.. But havent met xue mey, si gee, angela and fu wei after we seperated .. we left there the gathering before it ended as we had orientation on the afternoon…so reluctant to leave th e gathering..
The entrance ceremony was boring!!! Boring and boring.. singing of songs, speech, certificates give away then finished.. ==” but it is different to malaysia as we don’t hav so formal ceremony for the new students, here,in japan, they made the day very meaningful to the first year students..

first time

2010-04-17T14:29:00.001+09:00

First time, I left my country.

First time, I left my family and friends for a long period

First time, I boarded on a plane.

First time, I stepped onto the land of sunriser,japan..

I landed on the narita airport on 30^th march, around 7am.. and it was only 1 degree celcius..

The wheather was cold but luckily was a sunny day, kept us warmer.. the strong wind just made me trembling.. the places are different with malaysia.. the building are rectangle, the roads are black(like a new one), no rubbish at all… we headed to the embassy of malaysia in shibuya,japan after ..

Everyone seemed excited at first, but the orientation in the embassy was really boring andmost of us had fall asleep… it was really a bad attitude as we are the scholars, the chosen students to come to this high cost country for further studies, but we just couldn’t control our eyes.. the eyes closed tight without notice.. really tired

.Finally, we were led to the hotel!!!!! Around 5.10pm…no time for us to rest. Sempai’s from kisarazu,gunma,and one from nagaoka kosen brought us for dinner that day.. we had soba for our dinner!!! The dishes here are in big size.. I thought the japanese eat a little before I come to japan, but it was the other way round. They eat lot lot more than malaysia an yet, they couldn’t get obessed… I wonder why….we had briefing for msaj that night.. 10.30pm, all the chinese went to a sakeya( drinks) just behind the hotel.. we tried different kinds of alcoholic drinks.. only me, who was the only one ordered for juice.. but it was a special juice actually.. haha. Fu wei was drunk. His face was red like the hibiscus.. was a bit shocked that time…

Teenager, still, we are energetic… we gathered again in a room and chatted for hours… chatting while eating crisps!! Nice…

First time,I met sempai’s (though noy all)that we only met before in facebook

First time, I chatted so happily with jia zi that night.

First time, I found myself couldn’t enjoy myself to the fullest

First time, I feel the bond of malaysian out of country is closer than we thought..

I am pleased to be a malaysian., without her, I couldn’t have been there, experienced all these..\

Thank you…

新年快乐，情人节快乐。。。

2010-02-14T04:20:00.000+09:00

今年，很特别。。。两个大日子落在同一天。。
除夕夜那晚，电话网络忙得不得了。

20年来，第一次真正的呆在厨房帮忙妈妈准备团圆饭。
好忙，好不好玩。我真的不喜欢呆在厨房。
吃饱后，一家六口拍合照，我们玩得很疯，连爸妈也一起来。
我们四兄弟姐妹狂吻爸妈的脸，他们也喊开怀。。

今天，除了是除夕夜，也是我和他重新来过的一天。
我，傻吗？不会，只要我们开心，就不会是件傻事。。

merry christmas!!!!

2009-12-26T13:14:00.000+09:00

christmas nite... i was home... gathered with my frens..barbeque and played with an active cat... miss them a lot.. though it was just few of us, but it proved our friendships stand still...
how happy it was.. we talked and told stories of ourselves knowing our stories and lifes...fengqi is having a happy life there i wish...
kayong just finished his stpm, and beng siang,, never change untill now.. too kind..haha...

feng qi said she will go to japan and find me.. i will have to be her guide, and beng siang also coming .. hahaha,... waiting ya !!!!!!

realising the gang of my fends is getting smaller, doesnt make me upset, but it maked me learn to treasure these frends , who are still with me. with us..
frends, take care and be happy whenever u are!!!!!

另一种幸福..

2009-09-24T23:04:00.000+09:00

21st sept.. we had a party.. i were invited to join a bbq party organized by my secondary school's frends.. we had it at han wei's house.. it has been one years i didnt meet them.. i always avoided to meet them.. hmm.. why??haha.. the party was really fun...no regret but pleased that i went there..
23rd sept.. i meet two gangs or friends...
i as the organizer but nazirul has done the most stuff to contact the malays.. but none malay has come.. the party was mostly chinese and indian.. anyway, it was really to meet them again..hehe..
mogana will be a bahasa tamil teacher soon, but she already looks like a teacher now..
saraswathy wants to become an engineer, like me, samuel and jun kai...
samuel has grown fatter than before whereas, wei khang, become nice looking...
everybody has changed in their appearances but not in their personalities ans habits.. how fun and miss the days we had together..
after dismiss.. i ,again.. join the bedong friends.. chein yee, feng qi and ka yong. chein yee was the main character that day.. we had her bufday countdown at starbucks sp...
feng qi prepared a very nce bufdday present for her.. 19 bird eggs soaked in red,(represent her current age) cookies and brownies cake.. wau,, it was wonderful.. really...

24th sept.. i was with my dad.. we sent some goodies to a customer in bandar bharu..and there was a night market(pasar malam ).. i walking along the stalls with my dad!!!! can you imagine that?? oh.. i never walked with my dad like that before.. it was.. undescribeable happiness...
ilove him.. we bought cendol.. (i finished it up and he had to buy another one)
one fried bihun, and fried mee ....anf some fish ball sticks.. nice larrrrrrrrrr!!! i love u dad!!!

my holidays...

2009-08-08T02:55:00.000+09:00

my holidays.. two weeks.. short but satisfiying..
met frends.. went out with parents..
hav had wonderful but normal time...

i went to my secondary school.. and finally talked to the teache i admire very much-mr Lhye..
hehe,.. he never taught me.. but he was the only teacher i admired during my high school time..
he is a tall man.. man.. hehe.. not very handsome but very bergaya... like his style.. hehe..

went to metro hospital to make the medical check up...cost me RM197
met my childhood frend.. rajiv. he is the doctor to be. studying in russia.. how proud...
then we tian's brother, wei min going to be lawyer in a private firm this year...
wow.... lawyer and doctor to be... hehe

then i met my juniors. miss them alot la...
my sister came back last weekend.. just to meet me..
i feel good when she is with me.. feel like safe and harmony...
just like to be with my sister,,, sis, i love u!!!!
felt that she has changed.. she became a nicer person.. more cheerful and nore sniling on her face.. i like the way she talks, the way she laughs.. the way she angry...
she is so special....

tomorrow , going back to shah alam .. then exam..haiz.. done everything that i wished to, but didnt study.. i gonna fail in my exam.. help!!!

i think i hav goe to my normal life.. hope so!!!!
be strong, be happy!!!

essay!!

2009-06-04T16:40:00.000+09:00

we were asked to submit an essay about our favourite idol..
we can either write in english, malay ,or japanese..
they gave us options in languages.. but writing is just hard for me..
writing,, i hate writing since primary school. it is torturing me to pop out ideas on wat to write..
one week holiday.. i think i would spend 2 to 3 days to complete the essay..
ar,, its torturing..
my avourite idol?/
no one ....
but i hav to , figure out an idol..
who will be my target??
hmm... dr mahathir came into my mind fisrt.. write about him??
uncle lim? my dad? my mom? okay la.. dr mahathir.. here i go...
hehe.. gambatte!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

happy day

2009-05-31T01:55:00.000+09:00

yesterday, we went to sunway pyramid.. to celebrate his birthday, but it ended up with shopping..==

it was a very hot day, but it didnt affect my mood.. i hav been waiting for the day,, for a very long time, to go out with him..oh,, finally..

happy!!!!!

it was friday, and he thought there would be fewer people in sunway pyramid..

surprisely,, the place was crowded..==

we saw a padini store fair there.. he cant wait to shop,again.. how cute he was..

haha...

normally gurls will go crazy shopping when there's a fair or sale,and the boyfren had to wait for the gurl..but in our case, again,we are special from others,... he shopped there for 2 hours...oh my god.. it was a quite small fair,i didnt find anything to buy, but he , so busy choosing and testing the clothes..

i shopped alone while he was so 'busy'..

luckily, he didnt forget about our day..

we had the day together.. though just had a meal together.sitting together is enough for me..

enjoying the scenary of sunway lagoon from the restaurant we were having luch...

it was one of the happiest day i hav had with him...

and we were backed, i just realised that i didnt buy a birhtday cake for him..sorry!!!

the celebration wasnt a celebration,,==but i did prepare a bithday present for him..sure la

exam week...

2009-05-27T23:16:00.000+09:00

sad to tell.. i din find any adik angkat..haha.
may be too busy with our studies and there's nothing to be chatted between us.
but i did helped my junior ..last last last week..ok,, at least i ...though i din help much..
hehe..
we are having exam now..
i did preparation.. not burning midnight oil.. and i think i can do quite well..
er,,well... for me...
hehe.. its satisfy if u hav worked hard on it..
last year.. i was wasting my one year time.. learning nothing,..
this year ,a better year.. better attitude..

recently.. i found myself to be very emotional.. just like wat xin yi has told in her own blog.. me too.. emotional problem seems getting serious..
sometimes very happy.. sometimes very down...
i think its normal la,,, as the course of life goes like that.. nothing's wrong..
but sadness shoud be as less as it can be.
who wants to be sad as he or she has the choice to choose...

exam week.. we has been studying in the study room ..
and fortunately.. i met nani again...
a malay fren that i hav known her in national service..
she is a very nice gurl.. pretty and cheerfull....
suddenly thought of the frens i hav met there..
miss all of them.. adlina,atirah,.en yusof.. who used to say: hang gagal la,gagal!!"
and we cold never forget the kindness beind his strict face.with the mr potato chip' beard.haha..
miss the days.. really...
writing my feelings here.. i think it is just a way for me to pour out my problems..
ma be there's no one to read my blog... but i am satisfied for being able to write here..
just make it like a practise for writing..haha..
i think din change better...

nice..

2009-05-09T22:28:00.000+09:00

finally.. things become better..
changed my mind and making effort to be a siple gurl..
he is good , i am happy, and frends are nice to be friend again..

new batch of our junior entered ..
gotta find a adik angkat..
haha

start all over again.

2009-05-01T07:12:00.000+09:00

i was in confusion and sadness for two weeks .
questions were like thousands of bubbles.. they popped up but soon they burst and disappeared in the air.. questions came and there seemed be no solution...
the atmosphere of sadness lasted for days..
had been trying to be the one i always be.. but i cant..
i am not myself in front of him..
i am silent in front of him...
i am speechless in front of him..
i am sensitive in front of him..

questioning myself was not the solution, it was the cause..
and i poured my heart out to my frends,, they listened to me, adviced me , and cheered me up..

now, the problems seems solved,, and i hope so..
start everything all over again..
tryin not being too sensitive..
and juz keep it on...

60 earth hour(continue)

2009-03-29T01:16:00.000+09:00

few hours ago,i thought many people would make some effort to save our mother nature by
switching off the lights...
my childish thoughts were all ruined after hearing the opinion of people around me..
customers gave their opinion on 60earth hour when shopping in our shop...
customer A:“aiya, satu jam saje, tak payah tutup la.tak guna pun."
customer B:"wah,tutup satu jam lo.. mana boleh.. tak mungkin la.. banyak kerja boleh dibuat dlm satu jam tau tak,bazir masa je..."
customer C:''tutup satu jam kah? tak payah la.. tak dapat jimat banyak mana oun..tak payah la..."
customer D:"nak tutup satu jam tu boleh.. tapi kena bazir duit beli lilin , minayk tanah juga..."
customer E:"orang dah stand by nak merompak la bila masa tu..."

the funniest！！！！！！！！
customer F:"ei, tauke, hari ini TNB nak tutup semua current kah??"

see?? how people think and how they react??
i went to the town around 8 to 11pm.. thought the city will be in dark.. the majlis perbandaran would off the lights too.. however, nothing happened..
the colourful lights still brighting in the dark.. the banks, shops, houses...
every corner was as bright as usual...

.............

家

2009-03-25T21:58:00.000+09:00

去年，中学毕业后，得离家去服役。那次，是我第一次长时间离家三个月。
五月，进入ppktj，住在隆市，离家的时间更长了。也许从小就已经习不被约束的感觉，
所以离家了，也不会想家。只有当口袋空了，才会打电话回家。。好不孝哦。

每次放假，总是往外跑，找朋友聚一聚。
有一次，平时凶巴巴，不说肉麻话的妈妈，竟然开口说，这个假期不可约朋友，因为她向我预约了，这假期就只能陪她。啊，好惭愧哦，竟然让这种话从妈妈的嘴里说出来。好不孝。。

但是，我们的感情，比起以前在家的时候，融洽了很多。以前从来说不出口的话，现在却毫无犹豫的说出口。跟妈妈分享我的感情事，向爸撒娇更是自然多了。好喜欢好喜欢这种感觉。
至于姐姐，虽然只有一个月没见，但是却好象几年没见了。她，总是我诉苦的最好对象。

我爱我家

60 earth hours

2009-03-24T22:38:00.000+09:00

我家是开店的。。
每天看着一叠叠的纸带，被人一张张地撕下，
就觉得地球正在一层层被污染，被破坏。
但是却无胆的不让顾客使用那些袋子。毕竟顾客说的话，我们不能不从。
最让人生气的是，一些小孩，家只在几步之外，买了一样东西，
根本无需要袋子也可以带着回家，但是还是随手撕下袋子。。
哎。我只能感叹。

28号。。关灯吧!!!!!!!!!!