I am still alive

After the trip from Nagano, the first trip with my labmates.
I came back on 3rd March. and I slept from 9pm that night until 4pm on the next day.
I just didnt want to wake up. Because I know, I have to sit on the table messed with books.

To be honest,I am so so stress about the entrance exam.
I dont know know where to go,
I dont know from where I should start,
I dont know if I can make it.

slept form 9pm to 4pm, then wake up and had some drinks.
And I ended up the days with two movies.
And I forgot the movie I watched.
so it was 4th March, ended.
No lunch no dinner.

Then 5th March.
Woke uo at 9am,very rare.
Made some cleaning.
then started my revision.
It was so cold that I jumped onto my bed, Covered up my feet and body with the blanket.
then I fall asleep again.
Ended up the day without doing anything again.

6th March, Morning, approached appointment with my lecture.
Decided what my final year research theme.
Finally, I cooked some nice one for myself.

                                                                           Breakfast

                                                                   

This is really a balanced diet compared to what I had have a few days ago.
At least it is better than a bowl of white rice with raw eggs.
that I felt weak the days before.

  Lunch

I am still alive, after some messy and frustrated days I had.

29th Feb 2012

29th Feb 2012, is indeed a special day.
Sze yang and Lydia leaving Tokyo tonight. They are leaving. I didn't think that I will feel upset, until the very last minute, I feel empty.

It was snowing on the last day of the month, the last day in Tokyo for them.
He is sad, he said.
And I know she will miss us, just like how I do.

They have been supporting me, listen to me these two years.
She was a mom, a sister, a senior, a friend to me. We laughed, we argued, and we had conflicts(which she didn't realized) .
He was a good listener, adviser, senior, and person I admire. The most kind man I have ever met.

Including ung Jie, 4 of us was the best group ever. Whenever we sat together, there must be laugh and silly acts. Well, sometimes serious. I will miss those moments we had together.
And I am missing them already..

还是朋友

曾经希望那天坐在我前面说那番话的是你，
曾经希望过我的日记里还是可以有你，
曾经希望你送的东西，不只是收起来。

感到庆幸知道我们能够再是朋友，
同时也清楚知道自己一直都在给自己借口不去忘记。
成为普通朋友，也没什么不好的。
虽然不能再建造共同的回忆，失去了安全感,
知道我们还是朋友，已经够了。
够了，但可以让我再贪心点吗？
让我占你心中的一小部分，小小的也好，
别把我给忘了。

这两年来让我勇敢走过的你。

New hair style!

So, after months of hectic life,finially the holidays is here!!!!
Guess what, i have new hair style on the first day of the holiday!!
I went to a hair saloon,Vicca at Harajuku for a hair cut, treatment and color.
Usually, you have to pay at least 6000JPY only for a hair cut at a saloon at that area like shinjuku, shibuya and harajuku. price differs when the saloon is near to city.
Of course I wouldnt pay that much of money!
I paid only 2000JPY as a cut model.
I have changed my brown hair to black, which is my natural hair color.=)
cut my damaged hair off and have a fringe too.then made myself a new glasses. =)

what you think about my new hair with my new glasses?? I mylsef like it so much!! it makes me looks younger. Well, I want to have a cool image but,hmm, wearing a glasses might look cool as well like an office lady. lol. Syok sendiri.hahah..

Night of Shibuya.

Untitled......

Two hours ago, I was supposed to be chatting with family.
Promised to call them at 11pm(japan time) but sister told me that they went out for shopping. Tomorrow is
Chap gor me, the last day of chinese new year. Hit by dissappoinment, I decided not to wait for them to come back.
Merajuk, I went offline and went to bed. But I didn't tell sister
that I am upset.

Tears dropped down again, for some reasons.
I should not look back things that had happened. I shouldn't miss, think
nor hope for the past to be present.
Realizing it is still hurt, is hurt.

Stop thinking, and off to bed.
Good night people.

A 'bad' day for my Snoopy

yeah, It is Sunday. Not an ordinary Sunday, because exam is nearing, everybody is revising.
Of course, no exception for me and Jie,my junior.

Yesterday, I lost to her in a game-talk slowly for 24 hours, who broke the rules would lose.
And I lost, because I cant help taking loudly,yea, I am loud.so I lost and the condition was that I had to let my Snoopy to accompany her that night. reluctantly, I gave her my Snoopy for one night.

And so,we were studying together in her room, and the boredom drove us did something crazy to the Snoopy.
Jie jumped up onto her bed,and started talking to him. I forgot what was the 'conversation' about, but it was definitely not a two sides'conversation.haha!
Then she get the snoopy wear on the socks.

Pull it upside down. (happily)

                                                      then put on blanket.,her favorite blue Mofu

And then I said the snoopy was smelly because he slept with her last night. So i decided to clean it up. we took of his clothes,and she helped him sunbathing by hanging him at her window.=.=

After sunbathing, we felt that Snoopy have to get some beat,like how we clean up thick blanket.
so we brought him to the balcony, and started to beat him by using a hanger.
So stupid the wo of us. hahaha

                                                                 beating beating. =.=

                 And now, she riding him like riding a horse, making the kedekok-kedekok sound.

Imagine I have to face this little cute girl everyday. days overwhelm by laughters and happiness because of her.
She just has the ability to make me happy.
feel grateful to have her as my junior, my friend and my school and life companion, but certainly not her bullying my snoopy and made me like a big child. hhaha. i wanna be a cool lady one ma!!!

Inspiration

People looking for inspiration and motivation to make a better self.
I have to tell I am lucky that I am inspired and motivated by people around me.
The Japanese, ,the students in my class, the baseball players, the cute and pretty little girls in my dormitory,
the seniors and of course, my lectures.

My Thursday is unlike other days, because I finish my class at 12pm(for other weekdays, classes usually ends at 4 or 6pm). I was thinking of skipping the class today,to have my free time longer. But I didnt, and I am grateful for that,because I didnt miss out what he told us today.

At the end of the class, he said, as humans, we are born to think. Because we are capable of thinking which make us different from other animals. To prove that Human cant stop thinking, he did an experiment on us. He ask us to make our mind blank for 30 seconds.Class went into silence for 30seconds. and he said:'' our brain cant stop working.Your brain responded to the sound I made by moving just a little.You wondered what others were thinking during the silence. You heard the voice of teaching in the next classroom.''
and then he added one evidence,that prove that human cant stop from thinking. He in Buddhism, to reach Zen(禅),a level of letting the words,ideas, images,and thoughts pass by without getting involved in them,a monk need to go through the seated meditation(Zazen/座禅), which means, one cannot get all their thoughts easily without going through the Zazen, which usually takes months for that.

I was stunned and couldnt agree more.

My lecturer said, young people nowadays tend to stop thinking,resulted from the schedule packed with thing-to-do. They concern and worry about tasks, job, assignment, money..so busy that young people dont think and concern about the community,the world, the happenings and the future. When people stop thinking and unconcern about things around us, it is a thing to be very much worried. He gave another example: driving a car by just focusing the car in front, overlooking or neglected cars from sides,behind and blind spot, is very very dangerous.
That people nowadays are busy,is a fact, but at least, take a little time out of your time, to think look farther, to look wider, to think deeper will make changes.

Again,I couldnt agree more.

History of Interaction among Asia(アジア交流史） was a very boring class,not only to me, also the other classmates. for half year, students sleeping and doing other assignments in his class. Some even chatted loudly, ignoring his existent. But sometimes, I like his class.=)

So young people, broaden your view, get out of the box. For your own good, also the people,the future. who knows, you might contribute to the next generations??