It's autumn again!!

Autumn has never fail to keep me looking forward to it, and it is finally here. The reason why I love autumn because it is colorful than spring. You can see leaves falling along with the wind and the road seems like a yellow carpet. The rustling of leaves when the wind blow and the sound I make when i step on the dry leaves.. Yellow, red and some greens, the color of nature, is the most beautiful thing in the world.

So I am sharing the picture I took around the center Tsukuba city, a small city I am living in now..=)

Feeling lost

I am feeling lost, for months, or I perhaps for years... I has been finding the path that I want to go, but I still havent found my real dream. People say: Dream big! 

But I dont have a dream! so how can I dream big??? 

My dream? hmm, I have been looking for my interest, my hobby or my dream for these 20years.I believe there a lot of 20s yound men and ladies are in the same condition as mine, but this should not be the excuse for me to feel relieved. I know I got to do something about this. 

There are actually a lot of options for me to choose, I can either continue my master in Japan, or go overseas to do my master, or stop my major in engineering, or work in Japan, or go back Malaysia for good, after graduating in 2015. You see, there are lots of options for me, but yet, I am lost. 

May be I am insecured about where ny choice will lead me, or may be I am fear to take the next step because I always tend to stay in the comfort zone. (well, there are some exeption though) or I should go with no plan and be spontaneous! i must be kidding myself! 

I cant even go out to Tokyo withoit planning! what to mention to graduate without have my next step decided?!? 

end of the post.(no conclusion) 

Makan-makan Day

Juts realized that I have not introduce you the people I met in University of Tsukuba! I met three great friends  here. Yohanes Christy, the first Indonesian classmate I have. He is a tall guy who loves anime and is intelligent. He is kind and notice what you need.
The second person, Sharmila. She is a cute girl with small height but pretty eyes. I love her eyes and her skin color. We went shopping once, and I really enjoyed the time.
the third person,Tachta. He is a funny guy, who is good in singing and also cooking! (the food in this entry is cooked by him!)

 Three of them are special in their own way but they have one common thing- their laugh.
The way they laugh is exactly the same and it is contiguous. Sometimes I dont understand what they laughing at when they speak in Bahasa Indonesia, but I laughed by seeing the way they laugh and that make me happy =)

These awesome friends invited me to have lunch in their house. Tachta cooked chicken curry and fried spring rolls. The chicken curry tasted like kari parpu in Malaysia, not spicy and a little sweet. while the spring rolls tasted like Vietnamese spring roll. tasted better with chili sauce!

(from left) Sharmila, Tachta and me. 

Chris and Sharmila. They always have smile on their faces. =)

Tadaaaa the chicken curry!!

and fried spring roll!

Sharmila and I. <3 td="">

Tachta the chef !

Sharmila getting her favorite strawberry juice. =)

I enjoyed the lunch and happy to watch some movie trailers recommended by Sharmila!!
Hope to have more outing with you guys!

A Grumpy and Petulant Chyesin

Have you met someone that really treat you good?
or someone that forgive the every mistakes you do?
Or someone put you as one of the priorities?
Or someone that always encourage you not only by words but also actions?
I met some men in my life, that treat me way too good from I have expected.

But I messed up the previous friendships,and now I met another one.
but this time,I did it again, messing up the friendship.
I was being petulant over one sentence that stimulated my sensitive brain.
I got cross with that one sentence and fuss about this one trivial thing.
I should have taken a more rational action, instead of being cross and went home like that.

These are all my fault for being too closed with someone and started to be too dependent on someone.
I tend to show everything, the real me when I am closed to someone, and the real me is actually a very petulant girl, a grumpy girl who easily get cross with little things (which is actually "big thing" to me).

It is not the first time, but I hope it would be last. I really regret to treat people in this way, because we are all human,we all have feelings, and nobody likes to being scolded or to handle bothersome person.

I wish to have a free mind, free from problems and fly freely like a kite.

what a gloomy entry.
I promise I will fix things up, not only for others sake, but also for my heart's.

memories

 Started to feel unwell since last night. My throat is always dry even though I drank a lot of water, I can feel the heat burning in my eyes and nose, making me very uncomfortable and tired.
Perhaps the changing weather is one of the reason. It's summer here!

I found out some pictures I took last March with my family and friends in the memory card for my camera. they were all pictures back in home, with friends and family. and Fooooodddd!!!
I guess I miss home after long time. Miss my papa, mama, sister, brothers and my best friend!
Havent talked to them for some time.

My family, too bad my youngest brother wasnt with us.

My best sister in the world.

I forgot what this call. but it is one of my favorite food!

chinese rice dumpling (bak-zhang)

popiah

Chicken chop in black pepper sauce.

The new pet in our house! 

grabdma and her grand-grandchild

Steamboat for my birthday celebration!

Sister and her boyfriend and my best friend!

The sweetest couple, Mr and Mrs Tang

sister and friend, always my biggest support!

 Although I miss home, but I decided not to go home this summer. whenever I thought of saying goodbye to my parents , or waving hand to my sister/brother at the airport, I refrain to think of going back.
So I guess I will find some activities to fill my summer holiday!

换焕心情

如果你有follow我的部落格，你应该发现我最近又打回原形，

变得对身边很多事情都杞人忧天，觉得这个不好，那个很讨人厌。失落的心情开始多了。

是因为对大学生活厌倦了吗？好快哦。

刚入学2 个月半，学业上开始有了压力，今天才拿到红字的考卷纸；

朋友也不再增加，可以参加的活动也少了。

但是很庆幸的是，朋友发现我不开心，

主动提出一起温习的意见。

还有朋友问候我。

知道自己堕入了低落期，

决定换一换发型。

嗯，看起来和之前的直发没有什么分别，

只是现在的头发不会那么扁扁塌塌的。

最近又是雨季。

前几天，心里想做些年轻时可以疯狂的事。我这个人不好动也不勇敢。

连club也没去过。

进了筑波大学后，参加了叫野外活动的课外活动。

上个星期四，有个活动叫作“筑波大学地下探险”

我们12人，从人孔（manhole）潜入地下道。

目标是从大学宿舍的地下道走到大学的本栋。

地下道有宿舍的公水管道，电气cable，大学附属医院的变电所等。

走过一段容易走的通道，在穿过烂泥，

也经过小小的铁桥。

途中迷路了，达不到目的地，

但是却走到了２ｋｍ以外的大学研究本所。

好刺激，好开心！

Live for yourself, not for others.

决定不再干涉，不再为不重要的事而费心思。不再把脑汁用在多余的事情。
为自己而活，而不是为了别人而活。

管他的，自己开心舒服最重要！
活出自我！

Suteki-Seoul Blog

I fall in love with cafe recently, Have been surfing in the net for lovely,gorgeous,cozy and special themed cafe for hours almost everyday.

I want to go try out cafe in tokyo before I leave here. 

and I discovered a nice blog called Su・Te・ Ki Seoul !!! 

and she actually published a book about cafes in Seoul! see here
I wanna go to Seoul again!!!!! 

This is print screened of her blog..Yossy様、写真使わせていただきます(＾＾)

Rant

I have been think about my current life for the past year. May be I have been here in the same place for almost three years and I start to fed up with this life. How did they just spent their 5 years time in this boring Kosen? well, I spent 6 years in the same primary school and 5 years on the same secondary school, why I didn't find boring during that 11 years??
May be I had a target, something I wanted to achieve for, like UPSR, PMR and SPM that made me look forward to everyday.

But now in Kosen, life is really boring.
When I come to think about having fun in this busy city, I don't know how.I guess I have to blame this on my poor sense of direction.haha. XD  I have been to Shibuya,Shinjuku,Shimokitazawa,Kichijyouji,.etc all those nice shopping and hang out srea for many times in this three years, and I still not familiar with the places. Like one time,I went to a Korean restaurant in Shibuya, and the next time I wanted to bring my friends there,I couldnt find the restaurant anymore. HMMMM....What can I do about this??

Okay I am done with my ranting to kill my time.haha.
I think I should pu at least one picture in every post to make it not so boring. But dont have much picture to upload,can I just upload my camwhore pic??? okay,I am joking..zzzz


till later!! I want to update about a coffee shop I went yesterday so much but pictures still unter ediitng heheh...see you again!!!

距離

当两个人，距离近了，感情亲了；
并不完全代表好事。
因为人会依赖，会任性，会忽略；

觉得自己有时候很虚伪，很善变；
上一秒可以有说有笑，下一秒却爆发雷霆。
这就是所谓的EQ能力低。

同样的缺点，缠着摆脱不了。
是我没有努力吗？还是身边的人太好，给不了我真正留下效果的教训？

明知道自己不对，但是这次就让我霸道，说自己没错。我给了警告，以为你会明白，但是再次超越了忍耐撒娇的限度。
Just leave me alone.

First post of 2013

Can't believe that the first week of 2013 has come and gone!! Spent my first week of the year at Korea (will briefly update in the next entry!) and the
School, works,thesis and serious thoughts are welcoming me on the first day of second week. Stressed up on the beginning of the year isnt a good sign but things will definitely go smoothly if I put the effort on it! Yeah! Keep on believing! :)

Look back on 2012, I started the year with a broken heart. Struggled in getting over someone that I loved was not easy at all. But I have to say that I am always so lucky to have people concern and care about me.
In the mean time of healing, worked hard on the university entrance exam for half year. Different kinds of pressure and hard feelings made the life so miserable. Again, I was lucky that my effort brought the success that I passed both the university exams that I sat for.
I am thankful for everyone (so many that i couldnt list out all!) supported me and helped me! Thank you so so much!!!

Passing Tsukuba University was the most highlighted thing In my 2012

2013 is going to be another meaningful year for me, as I am going to fulfill it by 'making every moment counts' which is my motto of the year!

There were so much happenings last year that brought me tears, and smiles,excitements and disappointments. But they all going to be the very meaningful experience for me, which I always think they make my life colorful. Life is boring without those feelings, so I kind of enjoying being both happy and sad. Haha!

Anyway, have a good year ahead for you who was able to read my boring post until here!
Happy 2013!!!

Happiness

These few days, I am being so positive thinking that even there were unhappy thing happened but I just took them easily. I like this kind of feeling, of being happy.. not care about those trivial things that I have always cared.
I want to feel how I feel now everyday. Like worrying not much,care no much and enjoy every little moment.

Yeah, May be that's what happiness means--->enjoy every little moment.

Cheer =)

Bad day

A bad day, when you I don't feel like doing anything,but have to...

Feel so unmotivated and easily get irritated but still have to keep the feeling inside, and fake smile in front of people.

Pogress by Kokua スガシカオ

There is one song that I am addicted to recently. The first time I heard this song, the rhythm attracted me and  made me feel good. My days started with good mood after hearing this song.   wanna share with everybody around me the time I found out this song in youtube. still feel not enough and I wanna share it here!!

There is one sentence I like.

'だれも知らない世界へ向かっていく勇気を’ミライ’っていうらしい'

which means 'the courage to move forward to the unknown world is called braveness. '

the main message of this song is to courage people to take one more step forward no matter who you are. Be strong and confident.

Last sem in TNCT

So, the new semester, which will be the last for me in this college.
Everything is still the same. The college, the compound, the Japanese, the food in cafeteria.
BUT,there are new foreign students joined in our gang!!

I always wanted to make friends with ang-moh since childhood, and I get the chance in here, TNCT. There is a 6 month students exchange program between TNCT and Helsinki Metropolia UAS every year.
so this year, come a pretty ang-moh lady!! and three entao-bas. Hoping that we could enjoy the 6 months together!! *finger Crossing!*  okay I know, finger crossing just doesn't help in anything. Gonna brush up my English speaking and listening skills!

Well, having  an ang-moh in our department is actually quite rare actually and one Japanese of mine called me few hours ago, asking me for the audio CD of English practice book.. I said okay okay! I bring it to school tomorrow! but then just realized that I have the book, WITHOUT the CD. I was like, WTH for the trouble in the week of preparation for my presentation.  I remember seeing it somewhere in my box, but  couldn't find it.. Well, forgetting thing is my talent i could say, so its not surprising that I lost thing again. I might have thrown the CD months before. But I managed to get the audio file at last! hehehe.

the last sem is not as busy as I thought. Research is just going smoothly with the help of my handsome lecturer. I like him, or I should say we all like him. we always have a cup of coffee with roll cake on petri dish. Yeah, there is no problem with your eyes, its the petri dish we use to do biological experiments. haha. somemore the bigger than usual one. XD

                                           The homemade melon cheese cake on the petri dish!

I had a meaningful week last weekend which I actually went to a volunteer trip at Iwate prefecture, one of the area in northern region damaged by the earthquake and tsunami on March 2011. The town was totally swallowed by the tsunami, people lost their homes, properties and families, but they have not lose their hope. There are more than 300 thousands volunteers joined the volunteer activity. I managed to join this activity thank to MSAJ, and especially the president Lai and his friend, Vincent. I had fun besides learning the torture the people went through. Hoping to join more volunteer trip in the future!
I didnt know how it felt for being able to help people in need.

A group picture of MSAJ Tohoku Volunteer trip after working.

(picture from Bik Ee)

The 6 girls finally managed to reunite after a long time. miss them!

ということで、till then!

考上大学了!!!! :)

2012 年7 月17日,坐在研究室的电脑前.
9点, 10 点,11点,我还是好象平常那样,完全没有紧张.
11点半,开始坐立不安,心不在焉.
电脑 银幕是筑波大学的入试合格的site.
右手直按更新button.
正12 点,这时候应该是放榜了,但是还是银幕上还是写着「目无更新情报」
很紧张!还以为大学那里出了问题,迟了.
就这时候,他打电话来,问我结果怎样.
他朋友已经查到了!!
赶紧挂了电话,用兵苹果check!!!
你们猜结果是什么?

我合格了!!!!! 有548041! 有有有!!!
我合格了！！！！
高兴得冲出研究室，看到朋友和老师就大喊我合格了。
还给了老师和朋友一个拥抱。对，是我逼他们给我拥抱哈哈哈。
应该把他们吓坏了吧。

合格了，第一时间向老师报告，
然后回了他电话。没说一分钟就挂了。
这次合格考上大学，全靠小松前一晚的那番话。
不是应为他，我不会那么有自信去考试。
丰桥大学考/试后，我的信心其实是由30%变0%。
当时已经想放弃去考筑波大学。因为撕扬我没放弃。

这世界真的有奇迹。
感谢身边所有人，真的很感谢你们的支持和帮助。

和她一起庆祝!

戴那眼睛 是不是很可爱咧?哈哈

挑战才刚刚开始，彩馨你又得加油了。
表现出更好的自己！加油！