A Grumpy and Petulant Chyesin

Have you met someone that really treat you good?
or someone that forgive the every mistakes you do?
Or someone put you as one of the priorities?
Or someone that always encourage you not only by words but also actions?
I met some men in my life, that treat me way too good from I have expected.

But I messed up the previous friendships,and now I met another one.
but this time,I did it again, messing up the friendship.
I was being petulant over one sentence that stimulated my sensitive brain.
I got cross with that one sentence and fuss about this one trivial thing.
I should have taken a more rational action, instead of being cross and went home like that.

These are all my fault for being too closed with someone and started to be too dependent on someone.
I tend to show everything, the real me when I am closed to someone, and the real me is actually a very petulant girl, a grumpy girl who easily get cross with little things (which is actually "big thing" to me).

It is not the first time, but I hope it would be last. I really regret to treat people in this way, because we are all human,we all have feelings, and nobody likes to being scolded or to handle bothersome person.

I wish to have a free mind, free from problems and fly freely like a kite.

what a gloomy entry.
I promise I will fix things up, not only for others sake, but also for my heart's.

Caffe iL CORGi

Caffe iL CORGi, a cafe very near to the place I am staying!!

After a long long and tired week, I decided to ask my senior out to have something refresh my mind. 

And we found out this caffe, which was just 3 min walk from our houses. 

My weary eyes, are too tired that I can closed them up anytime. My mind, went blank suddenly. 

I am tired just after staying awake one night, rushed on my report. I got a sleep last night, but still feeling tired! I guess this shows that I am getting older. hahah

Back to this caffe, it is an Italian caffe, with only a few appetizer, main dish(pasta) dessert, juices anf cocktails. The atmosphere was nice with the opera song as BGM. Relaxing and cozy.

Too bad I wasnt in my mood that I didnt really enjoy th atmosphere. The owner is a young man, very young,perhaps in his thirties. 

hmm. I will viti you again caffe iL CORGi! 

\

I asked for a Creme Brulee. tasted quite nice! the mint leaves suit the sweetness very well.=)

It is going to be another busy week. 

Hope all these little enjoyment will make me go through the tiredness. 

as I said, enjoy every little moment!!!

All the best to me! 

Life is Beautiful;Like Colors

These are color pencils. each of them could make up awesome drawing, red, white, orange,pink. purple,green, etc....be it purple and blue that I love, or  pink that not my type, they make perfect combinations sometimes.

just like life, it is colorful because we feel different colors of feeling when come across with everything everyday.

What is your favorite color? =)

I love colors... (love)

Rant

I have been think about my current life for the past year. May be I have been here in the same place for almost three years and I start to fed up with this life. How did they just spent their 5 years time in this boring Kosen? well, I spent 6 years in the same primary school and 5 years on the same secondary school, why I didn't find boring during that 11 years??
May be I had a target, something I wanted to achieve for, like UPSR, PMR and SPM that made me look forward to everyday.

But now in Kosen, life is really boring.
When I come to think about having fun in this busy city, I don't know how.I guess I have to blame this on my poor sense of direction.haha. XD  I have been to Shibuya,Shinjuku,Shimokitazawa,Kichijyouji,.etc all those nice shopping and hang out srea for many times in this three years, and I still not familiar with the places. Like one time,I went to a Korean restaurant in Shibuya, and the next time I wanted to bring my friends there,I couldnt find the restaurant anymore. HMMMM....What can I do about this??

Okay I am done with my ranting to kill my time.haha.
I think I should pu at least one picture in every post to make it not so boring. But dont have much picture to upload,can I just upload my camwhore pic??? okay,I am joking..zzzz


till later!! I want to update about a coffee shop I went yesterday so much but pictures still unter ediitng heheh...see you again!!!

Sense of accomplishment; 達成感；成就感

Come to realized that I have never had a feeling if satisfaction or accomplishment on doing something.
Everything I have achieved until now, I made it with a thought of responsibility, something that I have to do.
UPSR,PMR,SPM, PPKTJ and even Tsukuba university, i came to realized that I passed all these exam with flying colors, not because of the hard work or the little intelligence in myself, but LUCK.
I always think that I am too lucky to come this far. There are more people that I know who deserve this than me.

I should appreciate for what I am having now, but I start to find that life here is boring. I need some exciting happenings in my daily routine. Not that desperate for new things but I feel like I am spending my three years here without feeling the true happiness.

In the previous post, I told myself to enjoy every little moment to achieve happiness. , And I have failed the mission within one month.( I had temper heated up these few days. )

Sometimes just feel like quitting the life in Japan and go wild, go crazy. But I know that kind of lifestyle doesn't suit me. Just want to try something different but couldn't come up of any ideas...

May be do something different in small things in my daily life.
I will tell you what I have done when I have something done. Haha!!

Till then!!!

12/12/12

12/12/12 sounds like a special day so I decided to post something on this 'special' day.. XD

So today is Wednesday and the first thing I do is the Chinese class. But unlike the usual one, I am having a very good mood today. Although I woke up in the midnight after spilling a cup of coffee with my blanket and cleaned up the place at 3 in the midnight. Haha!
May be its because I talked over something that I have been upsetting of, and may be because I know that I won't be seeing that person today!!!!!
And may be because I had a nice time running away from the lab to my
favorite place----> LIBRARY!!!!


So I am having a nice time and nice mood and enjoying moment today!! How about you?!?
Hope you have a nice day too!! ;)

Screen-shot of my phone!

Bad day

A bad day, when you I don't feel like doing anything,but have to...

Feel so unmotivated and easily get irritated but still have to keep the feeling inside, and fake smile in front of people.

Posting in the class

So it's Wednesday morning again. FYI, I am taking Chinese language as my foreign language class. Yea, you are perfectly right with your eyes. I am taking 'Bahasa Cina' as my 外国語. So the class is boring to the max, to the infinity that I finally decide to post something here to kill my time.

Had a lab meeting yesterday and we discussed about the schedule for the rest of the months before graduate.
Can't believe that we have so much to do. Because I thought I would have more time after the presentation last week at an academic conference in Nagano. Well, it was so wrong.

Going to work harder on following my planned schedule. Not only for my thesis , but also for the presentation and classes and organizing career fair for the association next year. Going to be busy but not so if compared to my other seniors.

Give the best you can!!!


This is the quote that I recently keep in my mind whenever or whatever I am doing.
Let's make the days better and heart wider!

Pogress by Kokua スガシカオ

There is one song that I am addicted to recently. The first time I heard this song, the rhythm attracted me and  made me feel good. My days started with good mood after hearing this song.   wanna share with everybody around me the time I found out this song in youtube. still feel not enough and I wanna share it here!!

There is one sentence I like.

'だれも知らない世界へ向かっていく勇気を’ミライ’っていうらしい'

which means 'the courage to move forward to the unknown world is called braveness. '

the main message of this song is to courage people to take one more step forward no matter who you are. Be strong and confident.

Autumn

Weather is turning colder here. Fallen brown leaves could be seen somewhere down the trees along the path to my lab. People started to wear knitted tops, brown boots and jackets.
Its autmun.. which i have been looking forward to since 4 months ago.

I like autumn the most among the four seasons here. Not becuase the winter is too cold not the summer is too hot. But autumn is when I can enjoy the red,yellow,brown and green leaves. I like the redish brown color filling up the space around.Just want to say, I like autumn!! XD

Another two months for 2012 to end, but I believe this two months will be fulfilled with joyous, and satisfaction. Not going to make myself to look back an regret about what I've done or not done.
There are many like me outside worrying about this and that, So, let's stop worrying but do it!

Have an awesome autumn everyone!

Moody

Summer holidays is nearing. 2 more days, it will be holiday.
 one more week, I will be back in Malaysia, my home.
But I am not excited at all.

I become so so lazy that I dont feel like doing anything. I need rest.
But I have been a lazy girl for a month. I think it should be enough already.
I have to think of a plan, a plan to prepare myself for the university life.
Still very childish, and not rational and mature enough to face problems and solve it.

I am so moody and down, or like the Japanese said 'yarukinai' these days that I think I shouldnt be like this. This is not how a matured person should do.

well, I am trying to do the best I can with this not-so-good mood.
Final exam ends tomorrow.
Gonna finish up my assignments and reports before going home.
Friend invited me to go Nagaoka for the best Fireworks show in Japan, but I have lots of stuff in hands, and had to reject him.
enjoy bro!
hope that I have the chance again.

Till then.

考上大学了!!!! :)

2012 年7 月17日,坐在研究室的电脑前.
9点, 10 点,11点,我还是好象平常那样,完全没有紧张.
11点半,开始坐立不安,心不在焉.
电脑 银幕是筑波大学的入试合格的site.
右手直按更新button.
正12 点,这时候应该是放榜了,但是还是银幕上还是写着「目无更新情报」
很紧张!还以为大学那里出了问题,迟了.
就这时候,他打电话来,问我结果怎样.
他朋友已经查到了!!
赶紧挂了电话,用兵苹果check!!!
你们猜结果是什么?

我合格了!!!!! 有548041! 有有有!!!
我合格了！！！！
高兴得冲出研究室，看到朋友和老师就大喊我合格了。
还给了老师和朋友一个拥抱。对，是我逼他们给我拥抱哈哈哈。
应该把他们吓坏了吧。

合格了，第一时间向老师报告，
然后回了他电话。没说一分钟就挂了。
这次合格考上大学，全靠小松前一晚的那番话。
不是应为他，我不会那么有自信去考试。
丰桥大学考/试后，我的信心其实是由30%变0%。
当时已经想放弃去考筑波大学。因为撕扬我没放弃。

这世界真的有奇迹。
感谢身边所有人，真的很感谢你们的支持和帮助。

和她一起庆祝!

戴那眼睛 是不是很可爱咧?哈哈

挑战才刚刚开始，彩馨你又得加油了。
表现出更好的自己！加油！

Writing Skill

I think I really have to brush up my writing skill in whatever languages I know currently.(*am going to learn more.hehehe). I was trying to update my blog on the GOOD NEWS I got a few that ago. Was hesitating to use Chinese or English(or Japanese?) and finally decided to write in English.
BUT! I know too few vocabulary and limited writing skill made the post like shit. I cant express the best using nice sentence! The only word I know is `happy`. Well, I want to tell how happy I am but I couldnt express how happy I feel.. OMG.

and so I gave up writing the post and instead I am writing this post. (wink :)  )
But I will update about my passing of university entrance exam soon. Well, yeah, I got the university I have been aiming, the University of Tsukuba..=)

School assignments are piling up like mountain, most have to be done in Japanese, well, all are in Japanese to be accurate. This is the period when the 5th year students in my kosen starting to prepare research report for the mid term presentation of our reasearch. Again, I have no confidence at all in finishing the report in time, and using good japanese language like the natives.
Japanese, English, Chinese, Malay. Japanese friends think I am awesome for being able to speak many languages (and I think this is the reason I got the university). But I am very unsatisfied with my proficiency of any of these. all half-filled water level (半桶水) hahaha.
What can I do to improve my writing and speaking skills?
Read more and write more and speak more?? watching movie and drama will be the best right? hahahaah, but dont have such time for it laahh..

Lets see how much I can mprove in half year time. OMG, this is difficult! but I will try my best.

告一段落

这半年来心里的包袱，终于可以告一段落。
为了考上大学，奔波了5 天，也打扰了几位学长的家。
考试，是让我很紧张，担心，但是不至于水不着觉。
这次的考试，可以说是开心的事情。
可以遇见我不舍的学长，好像以前被他们呵护，关心的感觉，好怀念。那三天，过得好开心。接下来见的两位学姐也是很贴心的指导帮助。
在国外，朋友和学长门就像家人，互相帮助，互相支持。
更幸运的是，我在日本遇见的贵人，如果不是因为他，我当天不会那么有自信的去考试。

大学成绩见在下个星期二，和星期五放榜。
现在的心情，其实不会很复杂。
也许知道自己已经尽力了，所以结果并不重要。
对自己这次的表现，还蛮满意的。
已经最好的自己表现出来，能不能考进那间大学，
应该是靠命运了吧。

休息两三天，再找回一直以来的自己，重新开始奋斗。

#1 两位很亲切的学姐

#2 这是我最想考上的大学的图书馆。环境很不错吧！

#3 筑波大学

对自己说，お疲れさんです。